Cliched Complaint Comments

I put together a short list of some of the most common complaints that I get which I have grown tired of answering over the years.

I’m not a [member of a particular group] but [goes into a long argument supporting that particular group].

Right. And I’m not a blogger but just a person with a frequently updated website with each post being assigned a permalink, an rss feed, and is then archived, categorized, tagged, and assigned a comment thread.

I hope never to be in a movie theater with this person.

I know it’s your blog and you can do with it whatever you want with it but [then a detailed explanation of what I shouldn’t do with my blog that I may do whatever I want with]

This is the first time I felt the need to comment but I just wanted to say that I will never read this blog again.

If it’s the first time you commented then how am I supposed to know you were reading it in the first place. And how am I sure that you’re not still reading it now as you always did…. without commenting?

Why did you delete my comment and all the comments that agreed with what I was saying?

It was amazing that you had four people who commented right after each other expressing how fascinating and intelligent your comment was. It was even more amazing that all four people who found you witty had the same ip address as you. But I will say that when I did delete all the comments from that ip address, I felt a disturbance, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.