Senator Brownback’s War on Centaurs

Not from the Onion. I repeat, NOT from The Onion:

WASHINGTON – U.S. Senator Sam Brownback today with Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) introduced the Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009.

“This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life,” said Brownback. “Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice.”

The Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act would ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Human-animal hybrids are defined as those part-human, part-animal creatures, which are created in laboratories, and blur the line between species. The bill is modest in scope and only affects efforts to blur the genetic lines between animals and humans. It does not preclude the use of animals or humans in legitimate research or health care where genetic material is not passed on to future

Won’t someone think of the manpigmutts??

Charge to be Dropped Against Harvard’s Henry Louis Gates

Yeah, it was probably a bad idea to arrest the most celebrated and beloved African-American scholar outside his house in Cambridge on a trumped up charge (Disorderly Conduct charges are ambiguous and are infamously used to make bullshit arrests) because he was trying to fix his door.

Disorderly conduct charges will be dropped against Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., according to the Middlesex District Attorney’s office.

The incident sparked cries of racial profiling by Gates and others.

“The City of Cambridge, the Cambridge Police Department, and Professor Gates acknowledge that the incident of July 16, 2009 was regrettable and unfortunate,” a joint press release from the Cambridge Police Department and the city of Cambridge read. “This incident should not be viewed as one that demeans the character and reputation of Professor Gates or the character of the Cambridge Police Department. All parties agree that this is a just resolution to an unfortunate set of circumstances.”

Cambridge Police Sgt. J.P. Crowley first encountered Gates when the professor was in the foyer of his Ware Street home. A witness had called police when she saw a black man, apparently Gates, wedging his shoulder into the door, trying to gain entry, according to the arrest report.

In the arrest report, police said Gates initially refused to step onto his porch when approached by Crowley. He then allegedly opened his door and shouted, “Why, because I’m a black man in America?”

This has been big news over the past two days in the square. I’ve actually met Prof. Gates (Skip to those of us who know him well) and had a great discussion with him*.

*We shared an elevator and I asked him what floor he wanted.

Question of the Day

Today’s question comes from our very own Cynical Officer of Inquisitions, Third-degrees, Uncertainties, and Subjects (or COITUS for short), Abbi Crutchfield who asks:

Do you skip steps when you climb stairs? If so, why? I do it because I hate climbing stairs, and it makes it go more quickly. I don’t think about what I look like, but I notice a lot of men do it too, and they look a little silly. Are they obsessed with the shape of their calves?

I find the problem with stairs is that when God designed them 6,000 years ago he didn’t take into consideration the longer legged people who are in a bit of a rush. I always skip steps since one step at a time is much too dainty for a rugged man like me. Of course this is theoretical since I go out of my way to use only escalators and elevators. I’m still a bit miffed that it’s the 21st century and major cities don’t have moving walkways.