Baptism For the Dead

From Wikipedia:

Baptism for the dead, vicarious baptism or proxy baptism is the religious practice of baptizing a living person on behalf of an individual who is dead; the living person is acting as the deceased person’s proxy. So it is with this practice, an individual is baptized to give those beyond the grave the opportunity of baptism by proxy. It has been practiced since 1840 in the Latter Day Saint movement. The practice continues in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where it is also called temple baptism because it is performed only in dedicated temples. Baptism for the dead is also practiced by several other current groups in the Latter Day Saint movement.

Advocates of this practice believe it is referred to in The New Testament (1 Cor. 15:29). The practice was forbidden by the Orthodox Church in the 4th century as an aberrant practice of heretical groups, and is not practiced in modern mainstream Christianity.

Mormons Baptized Obama’s Deceased Mother in June of 2008

From Americablog:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints confirmed Tuesday afternoon that someone improperly, posthumously baptized the late mother of President Obama into the Mormon faith.

Last June 4 — the day after then-Sen. Obama secured enough delegates to win the Democratic presidential nominee — someone had the president’s mother Stanley Ann Dunham, who died in 1995 of cancer, baptized.

On June 11, she received the sacrament.

The White House had no comment.

And this isn’t an isolated incident. It seems that Mormons have this thing about “converting” people after they die when it’s a tad difficult for them to do things like protest their conversion or, you know, breathe. They’ve even been caught doing posthumous baptisms on Holocaust victims:

Holocaust survivors said Monday they are through trying to negotiate with the Mormon church over posthumous baptisms of Jews killed in Nazi concentration camps, saying the church has repeatedly violated a 13-year-old agreement barring the practice….

”Baptism of a Jewish Holocaust victim and then merely removing that name from the database is just not acceptable,” said Michel, whose parents died at Auschwitz. He spoke on the 70th anniversary of Kristallnacht, the Nazi-incited riots against Jews.

”We ask you to respect us and our Judaism just as we respect your religion,” Michel said in a statement released ahead of the news conference. ”We ask you to leave our six million Jews, all victims of the Holocaust, alone, they suffered enough.”

….Using genealogy records, the church also baptizes people who have died from all over the world and from different religions. Mormons stand in as proxies for the person being baptized and immerse themselves in a baptismal pool.

I guess we’re all Mormons after we die. I realize the Mormons are basically just wacky 19th century Scientologists* but this idea of waiting until someone dies to indoctrinate them into your silly cult is GENIUS! It’s much easier to brainwash someone who no longer has a working brain. The only problem for them is that I’ve been secretly performing de-baptism ceremonies on all dead mormons so that they no longer get their own planet to rule over after they die. I de-baptized Brigham Young just this morning and converted him to Bokononism.

*Or are Scientologists just 20th Century Mormons?

You Can’t Please Everyone – This is Spinal Tap

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at This is Spinal Tap:

If you’re going to make such an excellent documentary, why make it about about a band that nobody has ever heard of?

Getting similar behind-the-scenes footage on the Who, The Stones, or Genesis would have been a monumental achievment in documentary cinema.

But Spinal Pap?

This is truely the WORST movie I have ever seen. It is about a bogus British band that’s losing popularity (I wonder why). It seems like they just made a movie to go around bad jokes (ex: “They foung the cover to your album offensive.””What about it?””The fact that you had a naked woman on all fours on a leash” Ha, ha, ha. Then he hides a cucumber down his pants to
try to make people think he has a huge penis. Ha, ha, ha. BOOOORING!!! Don’t waist you time on the movie!!

THIS MOVIE ISN’T FUNNY!! DON’T BUY IT! I watched it the whole time waiting for it to be funny, the only funny part was something about crackers being shaped wrong it’s NOT funny!!!!
Don’t waste your money!!!

i warned you!!

Okay, seriously, who the heck are these Spinal Tap fellas? I’m an expert on music (I studied the art form for four years, know every artist of the last 40 years, and scored an A+ on my math test…which really doesn’t have anything to do with music, but it shows you that I am intellegent), and have never heard of these guys before. Let me ask you a perfectly reasonable question: why would you want to watch a documentary on a band that you’ve never heard of before? And to top it all off, the interviewer is some guy named Rob (who resembles a pig! That’s right, a little piggy!). If I wanted to look at a hog for an hour, I’d make some bacon!

Also of note is that there’s some character named ‘Bobbi Fleckman’. How can you people be fooled so easily? Don’t you realize that it’s nothing but a cheap disguise? It’s really The Nanny, Fran Fine! Nice try, Fran, but I didn’t believe it for one second! I guess sometimes, you just have to get away from that butler and that old British guy!

People, whatever you do, don’t buy this trash! Just wait until Limp Bizkit (the greatest band ever!) makes a documentary on their wild and crazy and cool antics! It’s sure to put this to shame!

Continue reading “You Can’t Please Everyone – This is Spinal Tap”

Daily Dose of Ingersoll

They tell us that the church has been and is the friend of
education. I deny it. The church founded colleges not to educate
men, but to make proselytes, converts, defenders. This was in
accordance with the instinct of self-preservation. No orthodox
church ever was, or ever will be in favor of real education. A
Catholic is in favor of enough education to make a Catholic out of
a savage, and the Protestant is in favor of enough education to
make a Protestant out of a Catholic, but both are opposed to the
education that makes free and manly men.

Robert Green Ingersoll – “Truth” (1897)