You Can’t Please Everyone – The Princess Bride

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at The Princess Bride:

I’d heard much about this movie for quite a few years. About a week ago a friend finally lent me her copy to watch and I must confess that I am quite disappointed.

Now as a lightheart childrens comedy then the Princess Bride is good, but in the universal scheme of things I, not personally being a child anymore, consider it bad. The weak and ‘rubbery’ plot just didn’t do it for me, and as for the acting…

It actually reminded me of The Neverending Story (1,2&3) in style and plot. The campness just got to me in the end, I guess.

The book is so much better than this crummy movie, which is ruined by having Mandy Patinkin, Wallace Shawn, and Billy Crystal working very very very hard to be very very cute.

Silly, sentimental, and never as clever as it thinks it is. This is a movie for people who are seriously, deeply, truly moved by telephone commercials.

I have no idea what this is. This can’t be a movie because movies are supposed to be good. The story is assanine and unbelievable. The title makes no sense. What exactly is a princess bride who is named after a buttercup. I was made to watch this movie in school and it was torture. Thank you.

The Princess Bride is twenty years old, and after twenty years it’s difficult to see why anyone likes this movie. It is not realistic and most of the things that happen in the story are lies.

The Princess Bride is about two guys who are in a book and they’re fighting over a princess named Buttercup. But the problem is that one of them is a pirate and the other one is a giant! I know it’s supposed to be fictional…but come on! Even my suspension of disbelief is not that good, and I work with children!

At one point they all go in a swamp and that is pretty terrific because they have to deal with large rats, who are clearly added in digitally, but still are very thrilling. However, the rest of this movie is silly and doesn’t take any issues too seriously, but instead is too fantastical for anybody’s business.

This movie would be a lot better if it had Sean Penn in it, working with his wife, and maybe if he were solving crimes instead of swordfighting or some such nonsense. Basically, I don’t believe that Sean Penn would be swordfighting, do you?

Mandy Patinkin and Christopher Guest and Billy Crystal are wonderfully delightful in this film, that is otherwise a shamble from start to finish, and my guess is that whoever wrote the movie will probably never get offered another job before or after this movie.

If this bedtime story were read to me, I would want to wake up and find out that it was all a dream and instead that somebody was going to read me the script of “P.S. I Love You”

the labyrinth is better, but since it is out of print, this can be a poor substitute

The book is a MILLION times better than the movie. They left so much out and it really made me dissapointed when I finally saw the movie. Don’t waste your money on the movie, but i recommend reading the book.

When this movie begins a young boy is concerned that this movie is a kissing movie. But he is assured it is not by his grandpa. Unfortunately the granpa is wrong, this movie is undoubtedly “a kissing movie”. That is just one of the many problems witht the movie. Most importantly there is the pathetic supposed to be funny but greatly failing humor and script. This includes the very annoying line. “no more rhyming I mean it! Anyone want a peanut?” I mean seriously that is not funny. There is also the horrible effects. It is amazing that this movie was made in 1987 because I would have guessed it was made in 1960. Between mechanical rodents, kissing, kissing, kissing, peanuts, and Indigo Montoya’s fathers death this movie is bad.

This movie bothers me and I really mean it… anybody want a peanut? I particularly sick of hearing that phrase over and over again along with many others. If this movie could fall off the face of the earth, I wouldn’t cry.

The most annoying collection of bad jokes/puns/gags ever seen on celluloid. The humor is dry, at best, and vaguely vaudvillian. And if Buttercup has perfect breasts, them I’m Rod Steiger. Could someone please let me know who decided to give Andre the Giant a speaking role? The only remotely redeeming scene is the Wesley/Montoya swordplay, and it too is a bit tedious. The fact that this movie was even released is inconceivable.

You don’t need Sominex or any other sleeping pill if you are having trouble falling asleep. Just watch this excruciatingly boring film instead. You’ll be catching those zzz’s before 30 minutes elapse. This is one very boring movie.

I bought Princess Bride for really cheap, after seeing a friend at work reading the book at some point. I’d heard it was a really good movie, but took forever to get round to watching it.

When I did, I gave up after an hour. An hour of my time that I’ll never get back. I was really disappointed. I actually thought it would be a good movie, a happy movie, a movie I’d enjoy. I normally enjoy these kind of movies.

It just seemed to be an over the top pantomime, with every line of dialogue and gesture exaggerated beyond belief. There’s nothing exciting about the movie, and then for no reason, giant rats appear. Robin Wright Penn is normally great in movies, but in this, she just seemed to be sleepwalking straight through it, showing no emotion.

Every review I’ve skimmed seems to be giving it an excellent review. What’s wrong with ME that I don’t like this movie? It’s not as good as everyone is making it out to be.

This movie is, I am sorry to say, not really worth seeing. The only could thing about it is Cary Elwes, who is VERY CUTE. But aside from him I really would not reccomend this movie. Unless you are into severe human torture.

One of the worst films I have ever seen.

This is an amazingly boring, highly over-rated film from a screenwriter who is touted as a god in the business. It’s dull, boring, sheesh-ka-bob.

When I saw the movie, I was surprised that so many people gave it a high rating. This movie is for a very young audience, not even for teenagers.

For years now I have wondered why people think this movie is so wonderful. It is not funny and the whole movie is just stupid. It is time the truth came out. This movie is pathetic as are the performances by the actors.

I’ve had to sit/sleep/complain my way through this thing two times more than I should have. (I’ve seen this movie, oddly enough, twice) I can’t comprehend why so many people find this sort of low-brow humor amusing. (I guess the same geniouses who went to see Dumb and Dumber) I really hated that short little snot whose only claim to fame was being on Murphey Brown. (whoop) The quality of direction sort of reminds me of something I could have done with a home video camera, a bath tub, and a couple of toy boats. (I mean, come on! How many of you REALLY believed that was a full-sized ship they showed during the water scenes? Raise your hands please :::::silence::::: I thought not.)