You Can’t Please Everyone – Dark Side of the Moon

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Dark Side of the Moon:

This cacophony of commie buzz words and simplistic, condescending communist ideals both offends me as an American, and as a music listener. Should’ve been called Red Side Of the Moon.

SNORE. I can’t believe some of you dorky stoners trapped in the ’70s have the nerve to call this album a “masterpiece” or “one of the best albums of all-time”! LOL, MUSIC NERDS! You people can’t be serious. They didn’t even get any MTV or BET airplay. Therefore, they automatically are horrible. I suggest you listen to a great album like “St.Anger” by Metallica or “Lost Highway” by Bon Jovi if you want a taste of what real music should sound like.

IF you were born after 1965, don’t even think of wasting money on this. It’s music for old people (i.e. baby boomers) and pimply-faced seventies teens with their awful black t-shirts. Spend your money on a haircut and “Never Mind The Bullocks” (and, if you don’t get the last reference, you might as well end it all now). This album is slow, boring and took too long to make. If you’re saying to yourself “But it was so popular and it was in the charts for years”, remember that millions wasted money on bell-bottoms and mood rings.

Pink Floyd! Holy Christ, they’re the worst band EVER! I mean EVER! OH MY GOD! GROTESQUE! THEY’RE HORRID! WOW! MAKE THEM DIE ALREADY! GO CREED! GO CREED! GO CREED!

This album is musically inane, boring and void of all interest for any but the most drugged out and vacuous of listeners. Please don’t just kow tow to the ignorant masses who have been inculcated with the opinions of those evil beings who think this poor display of non-music passes for anything remotely near a classic. shameful. avoid this one.

Why this album is so popular will always be a mystery to me. I guess if you take a lot of drugs anything will sound good. The lyrics are meaningless, the songs drone like, the production very dated. Don’t waste your money.

See? I only gave it one star – now I can hang with the cool kids! I admit, I’ve only heard “Money” on my dad’s car radio – but that’s enough to know dis hole Floyd-think is mid-20th century. You dino’s need to listen to some Future Bible Heroes – they will be remembered many months from now. This Dark Side is just a retro-fad. Ever see that flik with the rich guy who’s in love with his little sled? Like, the same number of people who remember that will remember DS 6 months from now! Ps: Schaumburg is sooo boring – get me out of here!

Hello I was told this CD would rock by a friend but instead I find it overwhelmingly sleep-inducing. yeah that’s right that’s my entitled opinion,
I must give a one-hands-down to the previous reviewer that this platter is also ‘quite something else’ as he puts it:

1/ the feeling of a circus or theater performance is obvious
2/ also it has the atmosphere of social awareness
3/ Know Deepak Chopra? This CD has the touch of self-help-programme audiocassettes.

Mix these and this is what you get.
Therefore I would call this Cd a triple conjunction.

Hi guys in mah opinjen charlie manson and richard carpenter are better music performers with a thang. This cheapo fakeish CD has no thang on me. Speech to me is laughable scum, The great kick in the skye is a cheap shot at Erroll from Hot Chocolate, Time is actually…. a waste of time, Us and them is a reworking of the track Several species of small furry animals from their CD Ummugumma which is ten times worse than the original. On the run is what these cheap 10 bit entertainers should be.

THIS REEKS OF FILTH. BIG TIME FILTH!!! PLEASE AVOID THIS CRAP!!!!!!!!!!

This gory and utterly WORTHLESS CD is easily the worst CD in the whole wide world!
Take Prince’s Around the world in a day or Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits volume 2 and you just cannot stick to believing ANY PF disk is better than these two for instance,now can ye?

Get a grip on the facts, Pink Fluid is dead,long live Barry Manilow and friends!!!

I have my dady who is a lowyer sue this peoble whoo havesays this Cd is good.
I feel betrayed never have I herd sutch bobbycock.

Joe Lemaire, Wichita Falls age 6

WHAT A PERFECT MAKE-OUT WITH YOUR SEXY GIRLFRIEND THEN THIS CD IS PARTICULARLY bad choice. WANT TO EASE YOUR BOSS,PARENTS,NEIGHBORS ETC. THIS CD IS A bad choice.

YOU WANT A SILLY WANKFEST?

tHIS cd IS top CHOICE

For an album to be so meagre in depth there are many words to spend.
To begin with, to claim this piece of crap is a ‘messed-up-piece’ only shows a severe lack of knowledge and wisdom, to take that Benny my man!
Secondly for a CD so painfully preposterous there is no validation and right to exist under the sun moon and stars.
How utterly dreadful that (again!!) the dumb masses be enchanted by this unwiped *** of an album.

It is cruelly misappropriate to barf any cliched compliments over this swine of swines.

I wish I could destroy this CD on the first day of its smelly ‘breathe’.

I think that, nowadays, it’s a sign of a person being a cultured one, to say that “Dark Side” is a “master-piece”, “highly intelligent”, or whatever. I don’t think so, I bought the albun and changed it for another albun in the store, only two days after buying it. WHy? BEucause I heard “The Wall” and said to myself: “Uau, this is great!!” So I thought: well, this “Dark Side” is one of the best selling recordings of all times (more than 23 million copies sold, until 1997). But I was disappointed. THis CD has a lot of nonsense, and it seems the musicians are making a fool of the listeners.

I have no idea why this is one of the best-selling albums ever. It’s bad even by Pink Floyd standards; they did so much better on *real* classics such as “Meddle”, “Ummagumma” or “Animals”. I guess the electronics were kinda progressive in 1973, but whereas other music from that time (and before) still sounds as timeless as ever, this has become remarkably stale. Not to mention the pretentious lyrics. Lame lame lame. I guess this sells only because everybody recognizes the cover. In my humble opinion this is the worst, not the best, Pink Floyd album.

Lyrically? Very unprofound. Musically? Simplistic, and not even catchy. This is the most overrated album of all time! I’ve tried. And I’ve tried! And I’ve tried! Just like “On The Road” by Kerouac, it is one of the most overrated, misnamed “classics” of our time. The lyrics are trite, the hooks are cliche. This isn’t even in Pink Floyd’s top 5! Those who like it have been sold a bill of goods.

Its not even too bad. It is just a routine midiocre music that somehow somwhere became to be known as great. I have really no clue why !

It is nothing but symplistic and no special talent of complex composition is involved. Listen to some bach or to some advanced experimental medieval – ambiant but this – noting unique…just symplistic…

More slow-as-sludge Floydisms that everyone’s heard billions of times. Will someone please make it stop? Not even the Bible is this overrated. If I hear even a snippet of “Money” one more time I’ll learn how to build a pipe bomb in order to blow the master tape into another universe.

I am very disappointed with this album after all the hype surrounding it.It has no energy and is very depressing. Time is the only decent song of the 9 on this album. And the album relies too much on special effects, and the vocals are void of any emotion. Save your money. Led Zeppelin are 10 times better.

I loved DSOTM when I was 17. Which was 18 years ago. Now I can realise what a load of pretentious tripe it really is.

Every single aspect from this crapfest CD is a monster. The lyrics are the meanderings of silly pubescent minds and the electric pianos sound like the ones anybody’s grandma plays for hootenanny festivities. Sha-la-la, take your partners, that kind of thing.
Also the vocal performances are irritant.
If only these dwarfs would grow up.

GOD, this is so bad it makes me puke right away!

There’s a reason why this album has been the favorite of so many pot heads over the years: You need something chemical to help you take your mind off how depressing this music is. People usually defend this album by stating that “just because it’s dark, doesn’t make it depressing.” That’s true. However, when an album this pretentious goes on and on about self pity – dark or not – it’s pretty damn miserable. Highly recommended for individuals who consider suicide a creative outlet.

This wankfest is the penultimate in comedy records, not excepting the recorded ouevre of Firesign Theatre. Oh, you mean they’re not kidding, they want their philosophical diatribes to be taken seriously? Sorry, everytime I hear the pretentious musings in Drain Bamage, er, Brain Damage, I split a gut, can’t suppress the laugh factor! Dark Side of the Moon wouldn’t be so dark if it had been arranged like a ska album, with Don Rickles guesting on vocals. Laugh it up, funny boys!

Don’t buy this unless you want to fall asleep its BORING drivel. Britney Spears makes great music. One More Time has much better guitar riffs. And these guys are too…ugly to be popstars. Britney is cute. Buy Britneys albums instead for REAL music.