Here’s a movie trivia game I wish I didn’t have to play. Is there any major director who has made six consecutive films, each one markedly inferior to the one before? A case can be made that the answer is M. Night Shyamalan.
M. Night Shyamalan’s critically-panned flick The Happening is Hollywood’s first blockbuster to promote the anti-evolutionary theory of intelligent design. Maybe you thought Ben Stein’s ill-fated documentary Expelled was the only movie to argue in favor of the neo-Christian idea that an “intelligent designer” created the universe. Think again. With its references to “unexplained acts of nature” and a science teacher main character who calls evolution “just a theory,” The Happening is basically a giant propaganda machine for intelligent design.
Trying to look wise but merely looking blank and addled, Elliot ponders and looks into the middle distance, intoning, “Science will come up with a reason to put in the books but int eh end it’s just a theory. We fail to acknowledge forces at work beyond our understanding.” Well put, Mr. Science Teacher. All those atheists with that whole “evolutionary theory” thing don’t realize it’s just a theory! Probably everything in nature is just beyond our understanding. Let’s pray.
Commercial distribution of packaged raw milk is prohibited in most countries. However, 28 US states allow sales of raw milk, and in other parts of the world, raw milk can often be bought directly from the farmer. In England, about 200 producers sell raw, or “green top” milk direct to consumers, either at the farm or through a delivery service. Raw milk is sometimes distributed through a share program, wherein the consumer owns a share in the dairy animal or the herd, and can be considered to be consuming milk from their own animal. In the United States, Arizona, California, and Washington allow raw milk sales in retail stores with appropriate warning labelling.
You know what’s the worst part is about being bat-shit insane a fundamentalist christian? No, it’s not the spontaneous frothing at the mouth whenever you see a rainbow flag pass by. That can be quite fun! The worst part is not knowing what will happen to your pets once you’re whisked away to heaven to watch the torment that will come to those who chose the wrong god (if any!) to worship.
The good news is that there is a website that will help you in making preparations for fluffy after you’ve been raptured.
* You should have multiple back up sitters available in case your primary
sitter is taken up in the Rapture.
* You’ll also need some kind of system to alert them that you’ve been taken
up. You’ll probably need to have some kind of prepayment plan, since you
won’t be around to write checks.
* For advice on picking a pet sitter, check out Evaluation
* You’ll need some kind of auto dispenser as well. The Rapture and
Tribulation times will be very chaotic, so something with a battery backup
may be a good idea.
* This should only be needed for a short time assuming you’ve made other
arrangements for them through a sitter or friends.
* This can be an automatic watering system, or something as simple as
leaving a sink or the bathtub water running.
But how can you find a pet sitter who will be reliable? Shouldn’t there be a mathematical formula so that we can evaluate potential caretakers?
Deciding who to leave your pets with can be very confusing. Fortunately, I’ve
come up with a quick way to evaluate potential caretakers.
Each person needs to be evaluated on two dimensions.
1. Rapture Index
2. Reliability Index
Fortunately, both of these can be evaluated by knowing only one fact about the
person – their religion. Simply consult the table below to find their Rapture
Index and Reliability and use the following formula.
Suitability Index = Reliability Index * (100 – Rapture Index)
Last April 9th, at Dugway Proving Ground in Utah, two soldiers were driving a rented SUV about five kilometers from the part of the range used for live firing. It was at night, and an F-16 that thought it was firing at something in the live fire area, lit up the SUV instead. Only 70 20mm rounds were fired. Fortunately, the two people in the SUV were only injured (both from flying glass, the passenger got a dislocated shoulder as he rapidly exited the vehicle when it quickly turned off the road and stopped.)