101 Scientific Facts From the Bible

Sweet Flying Spaghetti Monster! All this time we’ve been wasting in universities and laboratories when all we needed to do to unlock science is to read the goddamn bible! For example:

12. Chicken or egg dilemma solved (Genesis 1:20-22). Which came first, the chicken or the egg? This question has plagued philosophers for centuries. The Bible states that God created birds with the ability to reproduce after their kind. Therefore the chicken was created first with the ability to make eggs! Yet, evolution has no solution for this dilemma.

And it’s not just biological facts that the bible is chock full of but it delves into anthropology:

Cavemen described in the Bible (Job 30:1-8). Four thousand years ago, Job describes certain “vile men” who were driven from society to forage “among the bushes” for survival and who “live in the clefts of the valleys, (and) in caves of the earth and the rocks.” Therefore “cavemen” were simply outcasts and vagabounds – not our primitive ancestors as evolutionists speculate.

And nuclear physics

Atomic fission anticipated (2 Peter 3:10-12). Scripture states that “the elements will melt with fervent heat” when the earth and the heavens are “dissolved” by fire. Today we understand that if the elements of the atom are loosed, there would be an enormous release of heat and energy (radiation).

I can has logical fallacy?

This reminds me of this clip of Penn Jillette saying that in order to predict the future, you have to make the prediction BEFORE the events actually take place. Not try to fit everything together after the fact.