The 485,460-Calorie Messiah

From Esquire:

Man cannot live on bread alone, but if he were to consume Cosimo Cavallaro’s newest creation he could live off of Jesus — for approximately eight months. An oddball artist known for his “eclectic” forms of expression, Cavallaro’s latest contribution to culture is a six-foot tall, anatomically-correct milk-chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ. His confectionary Christ is made with more than 200 pounds of chocolate, containing approximately 480,000 calories. (The artistic endeavor titled, “My Sweet Lord,” can also give you 3,240 percent of the Vitamin A you need each day.)

Cavallaro is an artist fond of working with food; his most infamous installation up until now was his exhibition in 1999, which involved covering Room 114 of New York City’s Washington Jefferson Hotel in melted mozzarella cheese. If consumed, the junk food Jesus would fill you with 32,000 grams of fat, which is enough to insulate you for well over a year. This Jesus is sure to pack on the pounds, but is this art really food for thought…or just a publicity stunt passing as art?

Threat Alert Jesus

This has to be a joke. DHS doesn’t actually broadcast that stupid threat level. (or do they?)

This incredible invention receives signals directly from the Dept. of Homeland Security anywhere within the continental U.S., and changes color the moment the national threat level is updated.

This beautifully sculpted figurine is molded out of high impact plastic and comes with full instructions. Requires two ‘AA’ size batteries (not included). Get one for every room in your house. Even works in your car!

Evangelicals Distribute 350,000 anti-Mormon DVDs

From the Salt Lake Tribune:

Evangelical Christians claimed they distributed 350,000 anti-Mormon DVDs in Utah on Sunday, hoping to convince members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that the church is a non-Christian cult.

They said they gave out another 150,000 across the U.S. and Canada – about a half-million altogether.

Hundreds of volunteers placed the discs, which feature a picture of the church founder Joseph Smith and the Salt Lake temple, on doorknobs in a white plastic bag that said, “Good News for LDS.” Others handed out the bags after Monday night’s Jazz game in downtown Salt Lake City. Some confused it with the LDS Church’s own promotional material rather than seeing the DVD as a critique of Mormon beliefs.

Japanese Restaurant with Goldfish Swimming in the Deep-Fryer

From Trendhunter:

You have to see this video! This is a restaurant in Japan that has a goldfish tank – INSIDE THE DEEP FRYER! And the goldfish is actually alive and well, swimming around totally oblivious of the 162° C hot oil floating above them.

The reason why this is possible is that oil floats on water. The burning hot oil therefor floats on top of the water where the goldfish is. So as long as they don’t try to “jump” out of the water, everything is fine. They can live inside an active, working deep-fryer for 5-10 years! The bonus is that all the crumbs and leftovers from whatever is being deep-fried sinks down to the goldfish.

Thank God My Baby Died

Thank God I is a series of books in development where the theme seems to be that god should be thanked for any horrific thing imaginable that could happen to you because it helps the victim become a better person by accepting god. Here are a few of their working titles:

Thank God My Husband Cheated On Me

Thank God I Can’t Conceive Children
Thank God I Went To Jail/Prison
Thank God I Was Scammed
Thank God I Was Raped
Thank God I Was Sexually Molested
Thank God I Masturbate
Thank God I Have HIV/Aids
Thank God I Have/Had Cancer
Thank God My Wife Died
Thank God My Husband Died
Thank God My Dad Died
Thank God My Mom Died
Thank God My Baby Died

And I can’t leave out my favorite:

Thank God I Am A Bitch

You get the idea.

(via Unscrewing the Inscrutable)