According to “Samuel,” David took a census of the people. This excited the wrath of Jehovah, and as a punishment he allowed David to choose seven years of famine, a flight of three months from pursuing enemies, or three days of pestilence. David, having confidence in God, chose the three days of pestilence; and. thereupon, God, the compassionate, on account of the sin of David, killed seventy thousand innocent men.
Under the same circumstances, what would a devil have done?
–Robert Green Ingersoll, “About the Holy Bible” (1894)