Mathematical Equation for the Perfect Ass

From the Sunday Times:

The magical figures are (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. Though the equation looks rather complicated, it is, according to the scientist, simple.

It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry – all factors that add up to the bottom line.

S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness.

V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

(via Boing Boing)


  1. I wish I’d gone on to get my Math degree. That looks like the kind of topic that will be the subject of numerous (countable?) grant proposals.

  2. This reminds me off an equation I saw in a men’s restroom about 15-20 years ago. It was something like:

    the angle of the dangle = the heat of the meat * the mass of the ass

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