The First Church of Xenu


Finally, a church I can get behind.

We, the First Church of Xenu and its many associates, are dedicated to exposing the lies regarding our Dark Lord and Master, Xenu Etrawl. For many years, dissenters from the Dark Lord have claimed that he is a villain, tyrant, and terrorist. However, these statements are false!

Xenu was a benevolent ruler, with only the best interests of the Galactic Confederacy in mind. Seventy-five million years ago, the Confederacy was in an awful state of affairs. Gross overpopulation threatened to destroy the already fragile ecosystems and economies of many planets in the Galactic Confederacy, and Xenu knew that he had to do something. He could stand idly by and watch the planets destroy themselves, or he could take action. Thankfully, our Dark Lord knew what he had to do.


  1. All Hail Xenu !! Thy should make a series out of this, the cast in “Battlestar Galactica” would be perfect. Maybe Tom Cruise might get a bit part along with John Travolta.

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