Prison Survival Guide

Yikes.

Always be respectful and polite to other prisoners, regardless of how weird they may act or dress. First, because you don’t know who or what they are, and second, because respect and personal dignity are the most valued possessions left to a prisoner.

Never tell another prisoner what to do or give anyone orders. Don’t tell the noisy ones in the law library to be quiet. Prisoners deeply resent being bossed around by another prisoner. Their likely reponse — even to a polite request — is, “What are you, a fuckin’ cop?”

Never stare at another prisoner for more than a second or two. He may be a walking powder keg, set off by an intrusive stare. He may either assault you on the spot or wait until darkness. Even if he doesn’t kill you outright, your face will never look the same again.

Avoid anyone offering to “take you under their wing” or help you out. Generally, they are booty bandits, or Jailhouse pimps running a well thought out and practiced game against you.

4 Comments

  1. Whatever you do, regardless of your belief system, tell the administration that you keep Kosher. You’ll eat a LOT better!

  2. It aint like that! Maybe in the most extreme cases of murder or worse, but it aint like that. If you respect others they will respect you. It’s not like a movie. If you want to be respected and left alone you will be. IF you want to be a jackass I’m sure you might get into a fight, but nobody is going to take your food, nobody is going to rape you! They are still human beings for God’s sake!

  3. Hey Deon, I did 180 days in county when I was 21 for GTA and possession of a handgun. That was the worst time in my life by far. If you think that you can just sit back and expect to be left alone by respecting everyone you’re sadly mistaken. I was jumped one night for laughing on the phone while another guy was next to me in a bad mood. He thought I was mocking him, that’s it. I spent 2 days in the infirmary and the rest of my time paranoid it would happen again. I had one friend inside who I trusted. Even locked up in the county jail is hard. So go on a believe that crap you’re thinking.

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