Wisdom Teeth

Mrs. Cynical had all four wisdom teeth out which means I am wearing my nurse cap today (and I do look striking in that white outfit). She’s in a bit of pain and swollen up which leads me to this question about Intelligent Design. If there was proof that there is a god, and he did design the human body, I still wouldn’t worship the dumb fuck hack of an engineer. (And don’t even get me started on the appendix)


  1. So let me get this straight. You believe in evolution by way of dumb luck, but will curse God at its consequences in case it was He who set in motion? Now that sounds about as silly as some of the fundy posts.

  2. I do know one person that never grew hers, and she claims to be better evolved than the rest of us. Thing is, she gets seizures and requires the occasional cosmetic surgery due to a birth mark that grows like mold. Needless to say, she didn’t convince me of her superiority.

  3. Just imagine how God must feel…He created us in His image so coping with His ‘wisdom’ teeth has got to be teh 5uxx0rz.

  4. OW!
    I had all four out many years ago but still remember it all too well.
    Seth is right: Drugs, and lots of them. If there are any justifications for massive quantities of opiates and/or synthetics, I think you’ve got numbers one through four.
    Hang in there, it DOES get better!

  5. Don’t worry guys, she’s doing her best Rush Limbaugh impression with the Oxycodone. The swelling has gone down already and she has started to eat pudding. I probably should go into the other room with my burger 🙂

  6. The day I got all four of mine yanked out they stuck me in the recovery room with a kid who had a “bad reaction” to the pain meds after getting his teeth pulled. He stood up and started dancing along to a Phil Collins song, and was gyrating so much that his gauze fell out of his mouth. This new freedom sent him into a bloody, signing and dancing fit of passion, complete with gargling noises and a river of blood and saliva down the front of him. By the time the nurse came back he looked like something from a horror movie. If there is a god, he has a very sick sense of entertainment.

  7. ok, your wife is going to want to beat me, but I was one of the lucky ones.

    went in, they put me under, I woke up in the chair, felt pretty good. tried standing up, all good, no bleeding, felt fine. they stared at me for a couple minutes, asked me a couple questions to see if I was lucid, they were like, ok, released me to my mom.

    leaving the basement office I felt great… followed her down the hall, she took a left to go up the stairs… i went straight. bonk, right in the wall (not shy about it either, it was a 3 stooges moment). she grabbed my elbow to get me to the car. went home and crashed for like 4 hours, woke up, ending going out to a movie that night and had dinner, zero swelling. thank god, my brother was like a chipmunk for 4 days and miserable, he may have been the guy hapless saw 🙂

    everyone still laughs about the 3 stooges moment tho, was evidently quite humorous.

  8. Anyone who says that evolution is a series of accidents is an idiot…

    As for wisdom teeth, had mine out and had a similar experience to that of kelly – no problems at all and was eating solid food inside 12 hours. As a result I had those great painkillers to use at my recreational discretion. My sister on the other hand got dry sockets, not once, but twice – OUCH!

  9. Hehe, (laughing at Kelly’s 3 stooges moment). I have never had mine out and so far they haven’t been a problem. I asked my mom tonight and neither her nor my father had their’s out so perhaps I won’t have to worry about the damn things.

  10. I had mine yanked out back in the 80’s, thank God my girlfriend had these new Aydspills: ‘Why take aspirine when you can enjoy Ayds…’

  11. All that disrespect ’bout god!
    What if your grand cynichildren grow into wolflike creatures, who walk on hands and feet. You don’t think they appreciate the extra handy theeth? God has given a purpose to everything! *couch* 😉

  12. Prolly too late to be of help, but as another survivor of four at once extraction under general anasthesia, drugs are necessary. Your lady’s doc is an altruist giving her oxy – all I got was codeine boosted tylenol which did took most of the pain away but had no interesting side effects.

    On the other hand, the demerol they shot me up with in the pre-op to loosen me up. Wheeeeeee!

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