1. Ah, I remember one year an ex-girlfriend convinced me to fill in as the Easter Bunny at the mall. Being a sport, I did so. Never again. The people who do that must be saints not to beat the living shit out of children and parents. I had kids pull my tail, try to pull off my mask or look inside it, a kid tried to knock me one in the nuts.

    Best of all, two adults, the mom and her boyfriend. The mom was insistent on getting a picture of her six month old baby on the Easter Bunny’s lap, but the baby kept crying. While the mom repeatedly took the baby off, calmed her down, then put her on my lap again, the boyfriend, mullet flashing, stood off to the side muttering “Fucking bullshit, goddamnit, fuck it, what a fucking joke, bullshit, etc.”

    Finally, on he last attempt, the mom calmed down her baby, then stepped up close to me, and pitched her baby at me in an underhand heave. The eyeholes on the bunny mask don’t let you see below the bunny nose, so i had to lean way down to catch the baby, cracking her in the face with the hard bunny nose. Needless to say, that baby pic was tears. Parents can be scum.

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