You Can’t Please Everyone – Animal Farm

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Animal Farm:

This book is disgraceful! It is the worst book ever! It really stinks! All it has is animals that run around and say “Comrade!”
Good grief!

Of all the things I have ever read! What a terrible and unrealistic story. I mean, how can animals talk? I have a parrot that talks but not in complete sentences. And besides the pigs run the show in this and if it really happened the cats would run things because everyone knows that cats are born leaders. Anyway, I wouldn’t reccomend this book to my worst enemy. I read this book to my nephew, Simon and he started crying and now he is afraid of pigs and horses because he says that they will rise up and establish a totalitarianist state and will rule over us. Ughhhh! It gives me a head ache.

This book was terible. I was forced into reading this book in school. Which is no surprise, this is exactly the kind of book our government wants to force people to read, so they hand it to schools, and try to force us to read it. This book was written by a insane man named George Orwell, who hated society, and displayed that by bashing humanity, and making people look like lower lifeforms than animals. He used pigs to potray govermnent officials (which isn’t a bad choice if you ask me), horses for hard working people, dogs as SS troops, etc… Throught this entire book, he constantly tries to show that humans are sick people, that will corrupt no matter what happens. To be honest I think this man is crazy and needs to be locked up.

the book ‘animal farm’ was not very good. we read it in english, and the book is so boring i almost fell asleep reading it. george orwell must be old. i do not recommend this book to anyone.. try watching tv instead. but dont watch the movie, its worse than the book.

Perhaps the worst book I have ever layed eyes on. I can’t stand this kind of unrealistic plot, (whose ever heard of pigs giving lectures about politics). If I weren’t having to read this for English 10 I could be digging into a true classic and my holidays would be much more enjoyable.

This book sucks so bad I couldn’t even get through it. I quit reading it before chapter three. I would not recommend this book to anyone you will waste your time and in the end or whenever you throw it away you’ll be asking yourself who would write a book with talking animals?

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You Can’t Please Everyone – Pyscho

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Psycho:

This has got to be the worst movie ever. A plot about a guy that keeps his dead mother’s body around and kills people in the shower. Lame

I have never watched a horror movie so dull as the original black and white Psycho. Nothing in the film is scary and the soundtrack is repetitive and not extremely memorable. The acting is very mediocre and I would suggest the remake anyday. I’ll never understand what the big fuss is, the movie stinks. I’d choose Halloween anyday and It bothers me that people have the audacity to say Halloween is a remake or some kind of copy of Psycho. Halloween may have the character name Sam Loomis–but they are com-pletely different characters. It also has the daughter of Janet Leigh, but Jamie Lee Curtis is much more convincing and just because you the daughter of an actress, it doesn’t mean you do the same movies. Hello people, Psycho is merely a boring suspense film(they never show anything in full graphic footage) and I’d recommend Dressed To Kill(a Psycho rip-off made way better), Carrie, Halloween, The Guardian, and even A Nightmare On Elm Street anyday before this lame excuse for a horror film.

Hitchcock himself would never have been successful with this movie in the 90s. The truth of the matter is, people who say they love classic films over today’s films(eg. Casablanca, Citizen Kane) say it to give the impression they are intelligent film connoiseurs.

Well, I can’t state how much I feel this movie is too overrated and medicore at best. It isn’t scary and it is not exciting or violent. The story is very retarded about a man that fulfiles his position as his dead mother and keeps her body in the basement. Ohhhh, how interesting, this is exactly the kind of movie I’d want to show to my intelligent teachers or friends. Yea right. There are no good effects, the acting, story, B and W color, and sets are lame and the let’s find Marion sub plot is boring. No I am not one of those teenagers obsesed with blood or gore and FX, I apreciated the bloodless halloween and Rosemary’s Baby (and non-horror films)with interest and admiration. People are always raving that Psycho paved the way for horror movies of the eightess but the truth is that Halloween ignited the formula and copy cats. There wasn’t many horror movies in the 60’s or 70’s so how could Psycho cause this “formalic” version of horror movies. It couldn’t because it wasn’t formalic, it was just stupid. Anyhow, a story about killers were bound to come up forth with or without Psycho. And if you think the shower sequence was scary then i must ask you, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN????????

This movie was so un-scary that the only reason it is a ‘horror’ film is the dishonor it gave to the name Hitchcock. All the ‘shower scene’ did for me was give me a roaring migrane with all that squalking and squeaking.

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You Can’t Please Everyone – Jaws

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Jaws:

This movie is SOOOOOOOOOO bad! By far, the most overrated movie of the 70’s. What’s the big deal? And how many times can you say “Shark attack! Get out of the water!” in five minutes? Well, find out when and IF you rent this crap, even though everyone of Earth has seen it already.

They don’t show the shark until 5 minutes to the end of the movie, either! Every time a scary or suspenseful part comes, it turns out to be a fish or something in the water, but not the shark.

I can’t understand why JAWS continously pops up on ‘Greatest Horror Movie’
lists and critiques…it is NOT great, NOT a horror (more like horrible),
and while it IS a movie, it’s just not all that good to me. I guess most people like it because it has a lot of names involved with it. Maybe I’m biased because I am not a swimmer and have never been into water sports, but I just find it extremely boring after the first attack or two. There are far better movies as far as I am concerned…JAWS is one of my least favorite films, never liked it even as a kid.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind was AWESOME. JAWS was horrible! Cheesy special effects,atrocious acting,URGH!

Literally, the only remote credability I can see from this movie is Spielberg directing.

Professional move script writers agreed with me that the plot of this movie is very thin, and here’s a perfect example.

Basically, the plot goes round in circles with people (who don’t even qualify as minor characters) getting killed off by a shark while nobody cares… I mean, knows that this is happening. But THEN, later on someone dies in front of everybody. So because they all saw this, nobody goes in the ocean at that beach anymore and the movie ends, right? Well, no. Because this is only about 40-50 minutes in, three idiots begin hunting the shark with a boat, despite the fact that nobody with any semblence of a brain would be swimming near that beach. In other words, not only does the plot make no sense, but THE ENTIRE SECOND HALF OF THIS MOVIE IS FILLER.

By far the worst thing about this is that it is an adaptation of a novel (written by Peter Benchley, if I’m not mistaken). This means that Peter Benchley actually managed to drag out this boring, black-and-white, thinly-plotted storyline, without characters* anyone actually cares about, for several hundred pages. Well, either that of Pter Benchley wrote a GOOD novel and it got turned into this garbage.

* = well, okay, there were about thirty-five minutes in which Chief Brody was non-boring

What can I say. This movie is not only stupid, but also insensitive. Along with the fact that the acting was terrible, and the music was cheesy, I need to add something else. I am, along with being a big cat, hyena, and wolf lover, also a shark lover. Sharks are both cool and beautiful. This piece of trash shows sharks as something they are not-bloodthirsty, sadistic killers who kill for fun and destroy anything they please. Hey, humans. How about the fact that over 1,000,000 sharks died because of humans, but only 100 humans died because of sharks? How about the fact that sharks have difficulties and feelings just like we do? How about the fact that this movie is an attempt to make people hate sharks, when they should be helping them? As far as I’m concerned, anyone who likes this movie is insensitive to the cruelties sharks have had to go through. A message to the director Steven Speilberg-YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!!!!!!! If it were up to me, every copy of this movie and any other movie meant to make hate to any cool predator would be rocketed into space forever. And I don’t give a (BEEP)that many people liked this movie. They just don’t see what I see. I can’t believe I ever watched this stupid s–t. If you are a shark lover, or an animal lover of any sort, do not see this movie. It is just another way to represent sharks as evil. And Steven Spielberg is a jerk. A very big jerk. Boy, how he makes me PUKE! Anyway, nuff said. Don’t see this work of insensitivity.

Come on. Why do people consider this a classic? Why do people consider this good?

I’ve watched it so many times, trying to find a redeeming quality SOMEWHERE in it, but I just can’t! And it frustrates me how people proclaim it a great movie and a classic, and it’s a terrible movie! Of course, I realize this is just my opinion, and I’m not masquerading it as anything more, but come on, now. Why is it so great? Why is it so suspenseful? I just don’t get it.

At least ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ beat it for Best Picture.

You Can’t Please Everyone – It’s a Wonderful Life

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at It’s a Wonderful Life:

This movie never won any awards. It was so bad that the studio could hardly give it away when they first puit it on tape, then they let it be colorized just so they could sell SOME copies of it, and suddenly the big war cry from the Hollywood liberals was — “OOH! Save a classic black and white film!” Baloney! No one liked this movie when it was made. No one liked it the 1950s. No one liked it in the 1960s. No one liked it in the 1970s. No one liked it in the 1980s, then SUDDENLY! — it’s an American classic. NOT! It’s Communist propaganda about the “evils” of American free enterprise from a guy who made a lot of pinko films but never thought HE should have to live like this “common man” he kept making pictures about.

I am a big fan of Frank Capra movies. But for some reason I waited 20 years since it’s video release to watch this movie. Back in the 1980’s and 1990’s it flooded the tv channels at Christmas time. All my friends watched it and said it was great. As a Christmas treat I decided this was the year to see it. What a let down. First of all it was about a half hour too long. Jimmy Stewart’s character was a born loser. Everything bad happened to him from the beginning. He also passed up opportunities to better himself. He ignored the prettiest gal in the movie (Gloria Graham) for a plain Jane (Donna Reed). To me, Lionel Barrymore’s was the best character in the movie and he certainly gave the best acting performance. This was a big Frank Capra disappointment. With the length of the movie and the failings of the George Bailey character, when he was on the bridge near the end I was yellinh “JUMP JUMP JUMP”.

I bought this as a birthday present for my mom because she used to have the It’s A wonderful Life in color on VHS.I recored over this VHS about 5 years ago, and i have felt terrible ever since. AMazon said that this edition was in color, so i decided that this was a perfect gift for my mom. I received the DVD today, and i am so dissapointed that it is not color? Why did they tell us it wasn’t~

This is the story of an ambitious young man with dreams of leaving his small town, but due to circumstances beyond his control, has to stay there the rest of his life. His savings and loan has to constantly help out the poor inhabitants, who seem incapable of either earning or saving money. At the first sign of financial trouble, all the dear friends that George has helped out demand their money back. George is such a poor businessman that at the prospect of missing ONE payment to Potter his business will go backrupt and he is prepared to kill himself. Then a angel shows up and convinces George that his miserable life has at least made OTHERS happy.

In a cruel irony, George is forced to accept hand-outs from the townsfolk he helped out. If they had this money, why did they need the loans in the first place?

No wonder people cry at the end of this ridiculous stinker — they’re so grateful it’s over! Jimmy Stewart, who was a returning war hero when he made this thing, is, as a result, totally miscast as a naive small-towner who never goes anywhere. Donna Reed is gorgeous but she was wasted making films in an era when she couldn’t show off her body. Clarence the Angel is OK for the Teletubby crowd, but a movie intended for grownups as well? Yikes. All Lionel Barrymore’s bad guy needs is a mustache to twirl and he’d be the perfect cartoon villain. The ending is a cheat — not only would the whole table-full-of-money thing never happen in real life, but what about all the poor saps watching the movie who have to think, “Well, maybe George Bailey could believe his life is worth living, but he’s a movie character, and the script is built that way — what about me?” I can see this movie being responsible for more suicides than anything excluding Ingmar Bergman. Oh, and that line — “She’s an old maid — she’s just about to close the library” made me spit out my drink the first time I heard it. Give me A Christmas Story any day.

This is an extremely poor movie. It is a shameless enterprise in sentimentality, constantly bordering on bathos. Typical of many American films both of that period and contemporary times. Very boring to boot.

It gets all its mileage out of holiday sentiments, and the hazy glow of the holidays colors too many people’s view of the film.

You Can’t Please Everyone – A Christmas Story

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at A Christmas Story:

I have to agree whole heartedly with Jamie. This is the worst Christmas Movie I have seen. The profanity ruins it. It’s a 1940’s film with 1990’s movie profanity. If you have children under the age of 10, you need to be aware. The father is mean. The are two prolonged scenes where a bully makes another boy put his tongue on a metal pole and another where Ralphie fights with him. And to top it off the Santa and his elves are mean. There is not an uplifting feeling throughout this movie….

I just watched “A Christmas Story” and was very disturbed by it. It takes place in the 1940s (I think), but it is not at all like “Miracle on 34th Street”, which was made in the 1940s. There is a lot of violence in this film (hitting, beating, slapping) and worst of all, profanity. The boy in the movie has a fantasy of getting an air rifle and killing crooks. In this age of gun violence, this is the last thing that kids or adults need to see. I would not recommend this movie to anyone. And if this movie is about Christmas, I certainly couldn’t tell.

I first saw the promo for this on Turner Classic Movies. I was going to be sure that it was, and had to be, dumb, scary, violent, and mean-looking. To
tell you the truth, I was right. It is about this boy named Ralphie, who dose
not mind the adults looking after him. He behaves like a SPOILED, SELFISH, ROTTEN, CHILD OF A BRAT. He tells his parents that he wants a BB air rifle gun for Chirstmas. I repeat, A BB AIR RIFLE. But, his mother tells him no, and that it’s dangerous. Children should not be allowed to play rifles, including BB ones. Ralphie was, and is, a terrible, terrible child. I did not
like him at all. A child wanting a gun for Chirstmas… is horrible. Do not show this to your children. It’s more of a rated R then a PG.

I gave this one star, because there is no “0” rating. Many people encouraged me to watch this…….this……thing, so last year I tried it. I kept wondering why everyone liked it so much. It was absolutely horrible. I forced myself to finish the movie: 1) I had hopes it would get better and 2) everyone said it was great.

If you have not seen it, let me tell you it is NOT great. It is boring, silly, immature and a great big waste of time.

I feel this DVD should not be a part of Christmas, maybe it should be shown at Halloween. I appreciate that this is how one man remembers his childhood but I wish my in-laws had never shown this movie to my children. They are not permanently damaged by this movie but it should be labeled as twisted.

What is this junk? How can so many people think it’s so cute and funny and consider it a classic?

It’s just about a whiny child who wants a gun for Christmas, and just about every adult tells him he’ll “shoot his eye out”! That’s the 1940s’ equivalent of a child asking for a violent video game such as the Grand Theft Auto series and parents saying, “you’ll end up shooting your next door neighbor” in today’s world! How can you call “A Christmas Story” a classic if it’s a hypocrisy of today’s standards?

Yes, entertainment’s entertainment. Movies are supposed to be fantasy road trips that takes us away from real-world problems for 90-or-so minutes. But I think movies tend to have a deeper meaning that is often hidden behind the superficial eye candy and storyline.

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You Can’t Please Everyone – Appetite For Destruction

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Appetite For Destruction:

very sad homophobic LA teenie rock, RIP Axel. About as hard as the spice girls.

i’m sick of people calling g’n’r a metal band, they aint a god damn metal band! first of all, they are not technical enough to be considered “heavy metal”, they are your basic crap 80’s hard rock band, not a metal one.

I jsut learned something really good! to spell!

Dis is the the bezt exapmle of how mcuhb pop was. This i znothn but another ablum dat out to destroy mnusic/ It was released this yur, eople, get yo fact rights. Yep, di is the worst album eva created becuase I hate all of da bad music of todfay. Why lsiten to someone comlainsing about an imaginary girlfirned when you canoukll listen to Ashlee Simspon sing about eda peces ofg hur heart mon!!!!!!!!!!!! she did dat inst4ed ov whining!!!!!!! dat is bweing a rocker yall!!11 IMHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thu pozer muzak on dis iz da wurst muzak eva!!!! Slush iz the mnrst overrated gutiarist evaer, cause he plaus an LEs Petie that iz not played by Lindsey Lohan, dat zi no skill dog!!!!!!!!! bye.

Guns ‘N Roses pulls the limits when they decide to spread their ignorance and machismo onto the young minds of the world. This disc is just a negative effect it has on bois and grrls, that says the male needs to be the boss, that ‘real men’ hit women and ‘real rock stars’ must have 20 body guards to feel important, homosexuals must be hated and that people outside the white race not to be dealt with. This disc and this band is the scab of rock music, a mosquito bite, the in-laws that just wont go away. Axle Rose is a sham and a fake, he sould be welcomed into the jungle and shot for his ignorance, stupidity and egotistical way of being.

WOW,WHAT A JOKE,WHO LIKES AWFUL BANDS LIKE G’N’R,GREEN DAY,FOREIGNER AND NIRVANA.APETITE FOR DESTRUCTION IS A MASSIVE JOKE WITH SOME OF THE WORST SONGS IN PARADISE CITY AND WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.WELL MY FRIENDS DONT BUY ANY ALBUMS FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED BANDS.BUY ANY ALBUM FROM THE ROLLING STONES INSTEAD.

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You Can’t Please Everyone – Sticky Fingers

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Sticky Fingers:

WOW! WHO LIKES SUCH AWFUL TRASH SONGS LIKE BROWN SUGAR??? THE ROLLING STONES ARE DEFINATELY ONE OF THE WORST BANDS EVER AND THEY HAVE NEVER MADE ANYTHING DECENT EXCEPT START ME UP AND SHATTERED AND THEY SHOULD BE DISHONORED FOR MAKING SUCH AWFUL MUSIC ALONG WITH QUEEN U2 DOORS AND SABBATH. GET ANY METALLICA ALBUM INSTED.

What does it say about those who ingest and celebrate the work of degenerates who use their “music” to glorify drug abuse, and racism (brown sugar, for example). Decent people are revolted by such filth. No amount of musicality can overcome their revulsion. However, for others, musicality is more important than morality. It is therefore no surprise that the world is in the state it’s in. Consumers should not support the celebration and exploitation of the suffering of any group of people. For people of African ancestry the effects of racism are still very real. No amount of musicality should surpass our moral obligations. Your choices generate the political, economic, and moral conditions that your children inherit. Act responsibly!

The Follin’ Craps, er, Rolling Stones, SUCKS BALLZ! All the singer does is make a fizzool out of himself. There’s a song on here called (…), and that word PERFECTIZZLY defizzines what these tizzurds ARE! A V O I D !

Monotonous.Dull.Uninspiring.Unadventurous. What this CD needs is stuff the calibre of All You Need Is Love or Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey.Stuff that sparkles and shimmers. The songs here are just pseudo junky nonsense. More imagination is needed here.If you want halfway decent stones try Hot Rocks which has all the stuff youll ever need.The best of their poppy material such as jumpin jack satisfaction and paint it black.This is as good as they got.Try Imagine or All Things Must Pass instead.

This was the start of the musical “end” of the Rolling Stones.
About the only 2 songs worth SPIT: Wild Horses & the C/W parody
Dead Flowers. ALL the other songs on this album sound like scrap left over from previous sessions. This album was originally released in 1971 ( about 2 plus years after Brians Jonses’ death. Founder of the Rolling Stones ) Since 1968 – 9 they began moving away from their strength ( R & B ) and headed
into these uncharted waters. Most of the content of these songs
leave you empty. If you can borrow this album first, this is what I would advise. This album began to convert me from BEING a hardcore fan. It’s a 2 song album folks, trust me.

To the reviewer who asked why Beatles fans attack the RS.Maybe you should ask the opposite.Go to any Beatles review and youll find stones fans galore attacking the Beatles out of pure jealousy.Fans of the Beatles are generally very secure,its the Stones fans who are usually jealous and bitter.Why?I dont know. Maybe its there(beatles)inate superiority that bugs them I dont know.But overall this is an OK CD.

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