You Can’t Please Everyone – Catcher in the Rye

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Catcher in the Rye:

I am very open minded when it comes to literature (I even read through Mein Kampf without any objection) but I just hated this book! If it wasn’t required reading, I would have stopped on the fourth page! I think Salinger could have done much better!

This book is pathetic. Many people called it a “classic.” It’s the book that killed John Lennon. Oswald had a copy. So I thought “What the heck?” I then embarked on four hours of my life spent reading this complete testacle sack of a book; four hours I will never get back, I might add. The long and short of it is: the writing style is mundane and repetative, the crude language, while could be seen as “liberating” considering the time in which the book was written, becomes more numbing than anything else thereby losing its effect on the reader, and to wrap it all up, the boy is so unbelievably annoying, you find yourself applauding the pimp for slapping the crap out of him. The only reason this book survived to the present day is more because of the folklore surrounding it, rather than the book itself.
J.R.R. Tolkien said to C.S. Lewis concerning Lewis’s first book “Clive, people who are willing to use the word ‘bunk’ are going to call this book ‘bunk.’ They don’t know any better.” I am an educated man, and to call The Catcher in the Rye “bunk” is to give it far too high a praise.

THIS BOOK WAS HORRIBLE. I AM IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WE HAD TO READ IT IN ONE OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES. WE WERE TOLD THAT PEOPLE WANTED TO BAN IT AND I TOTALLY AGREE. HOLDEN WAS JUST THIS LOW DOWN DEPRESSED PERSON THAT ALWAYS FELT SORRY FOR HIMSELF. PLUS THIS BOOK HAD TOO MUCH BAD LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT IN IT. I’M NOT THE TYPE OF TEENAGER EVERYONE THINKS ABOUT. I DON’T SWEAR,DO DRUGS OR SLEEP AROUND. BUT WHEN I READ THIS BOOK, I FELT LIKE SWEARING BECAUSE THE WORDS WERE CARVED INTO MY MEMORY. AND THEN WE HAD TO WRITE A PAPER ON IT USING WORDS HOLDEN USED. I DIDN’T USE ANY SWEAR WORDS AND GOT A BAD GRADE ON IT. THIS BOOK REALLY MADE ME MAD. I WOULDN’T HAVE READ IT BUT I HAD TO FOR SCHOOL. DO NOT READ IT!!!!!!

I have heard about this ‘brilliant” work of literture for many years. But until now have never read it. After reading it, I never missed anything. This is nothing but a priviledge wuss trying to be something that he never will be–a mature useful part of society. He constantly whines, projects his uselessness on others and has little to no ability to see that the phoniness his so hates in others is nothing but his own personality reflecting back to him. if he had to actually be responably for one second of his life and didn’t live of the wealth of his parents, maybe just maybe he might amount to something. I wish I had the time i spent on reading this dreck back.

My god, probably the most boring, inconsequential book I ever read. Thank god it’s a short one though. Spare yourself the trouble and read what wiki has to say about it, you won’t take away anything else from this piece of ****. The book makes fun of “Phony” people, well, I say the “Phony” people are all those who recommend this book. They only do it so they don’t feel so bad they were the only ones that read it, kind of like the emperor’s clothes.

Having said that, I dare you to find a book that says “… and all”, “…kills me” and “depressed” more times than this one.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, maybe I missed something, but I thought this was the most pointless, boring, and redundant book I ever read. There was no climax; there was no meaning. The supposed “conflict” was non-existent. Just heed my advice: Don’t read the book. Heck, even if you do, I’m sure you’ll throw it out after the first 10 pages.

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You Can’t Please Everyone – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

Dahl is a sadistic creep who was severely abused as a child. From reading his Dahl’s biography “boy” it’s easy to see where he, and so many other British authors, get their twisted ideas from; the harsh and cruel British Gulags aka boarding schools.
Roald Dahl loves to write stories about tormented, punished, starving, suffering children (and adults for that matter, too). I don’t think British people like children, period.

This book is for ADULTS THAT DO NOT LIKE KIDS. All the kids are bad besides Charlie Bucket, and for some odd reason all the adults besides the Buckets are fat. All the kids get punished because they do something wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, and there are bad words in the book that should not be used. So that is why I rate this book with one star, and if I could rate it lower I would.

I thought this book was not very good. Nobody died because of the oompa-loompa. The characters were very stupid. I didn’t like augustus because he ate to much. The arguing was o.k.

I read this book when I was young and was disturbed by it. It is not a kid’s book. It is a book by an adult ABOUT children, not FOR children.

This book paints a very negative picture of children. With the exception of the main character, all of the children are bad and are punished in cruel ways for their faults. Are most children fundementally bad and deserving terrible punishment, at the moment they least expect it? This book suggests it (especially to a child who might be reading it and cannot understand what “social commentary” is yet). This book fits right in with the Omen and Rosemary’s Baby. It is a child-exploitation story.

I recommend this book to adults who do not like children.

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You Can’t Please Everyone – Revolver

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Revolver:

What can you say about The Beatles? The best thing I can think of is that they came from Liverpool. But given that noone of them even cared about football, never mind Everton, I won’t even say that’s a good thing. The Beatles is in my opinion the worst band in history. OK everyone was totally loaded on crack and drugs in the 60’ies, but surely you’ve all woken up by now??? It’s pathetic! Every single song. Yellow Submarine is an embarrasment to the human race. It’s the kind of song you thought was hillariously bad even in children school. If you like music then don’t even consider buying a Beatles record.

This is certainly one of the poorest albums ever made. No track can be considered outstanding. The musical prowess of the Beatles, never strong at the best of times,(witness the abysmal guitar and drum “solo’s” on “The End”, is laid painfully bare on this album. Without the energy of their early songs, these tracks hang by the slimmest of melodies and the weakest musical hooks.

Revolver is the Beatles’ weakest album, worse than Yellow Submarine.It displays poor production by George Martin and superficial songwriting, although George’s contributions are far better than John’s. Ringo’s influence is felt strongly on this album. Revolver does the Beatles’ reputation irreparable damage, and it was also their least influential work. A candidate for the worst album of all time by any artist.

I won’t even mention taxman, as an earlier reviewer put it, hearing multi-millionaires complaining about their tax bills is appalling.

Thankfully I am no longer blind and can see this album for what it really is, regardless of how many critics tell you it is great, use your own ears and determine the truth.

One star.

There is flat out one good song on this album – “Taxman”. It is one of the worst albums ever recorded by a decent band.

I love Old school Music, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, The rolling Stones and The beatles are some of my Favorite artists But what’s up with the Hype? This album is so outdated and poorly produced that it’s a sham to give it more than one star. Any one who thinks this is the MOST groundbraking “Album EVER” Doesnt know anything about music, must be sleeping or living in the past. I know good music when I hear it But this is truly one of the worst albums I’ve ever heard.

After Listning to Lame songs like “Love to you” “Tommorow Never Knows” My ears basically started bleeding. A truly weak and dissapoiting effort, Even HELP! is better.

You Can’t Please Everyone – The Old Man and the Sea

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at The Old Man and the Sea:

What was the point in this book? The guy sat in a boat for God knows how many days to catch this fish. Yeah, happy day, good for him, but who cares?!

I couldn’t have cared less what happened to the old man, the fish, the boat, or Ernest Hemmingway. It was a titanic struggle to get through the book–way harder than anything the old man had to face. James Joyce does stream of consciousness a whole lot better–and I hate Joyce’s writing too.

If you are an average Joe looking for a good book to read, this is not for you. I found this book to be repetitive and everything is always linked to something else. It seems to drag on with descriptions and may seem as if it could be written in a few pages. If you are the a literature junky, the type that cannot get enough symbolism and loves to sit around and analyze stories trying to find a hidden meaning this book will delight you, but if you want a book with suspense, mystery and a decent ending stay away.

There was about one hundred pages about a fish. Why would anyone care that much about a fish? If the story had a little more action and a little less about the mans’ cramped hand, it would be a tiny bit better. If you wanted to read a book about a fish, this is the book for you.

This book is very boring. In the beginning it didn’t even spark my interest. Because the book was written without chapters, it is kind of hard to tell whats what and whos who. I fell aslleep every 10 minutes, or made up an excuse to do something else. There is no suspense or adventure, but only an old guy talking to himself. This book is written nicely, but only in one way-(thats where the 1 star came from)-because you could picture all this in your head, because of his very descriptive writing

Have you ever watched anyone fish? Pretty boring, isn’t it? Well, just imagine how much more boring it would be to read about somebody else fishing. That should give you a sense of how mind-numbing an experience it is to read “The Old Man and the Sea.” I am not ignorant of its deep religious symbolism. It is certainly a profound story, but it also happens to be a very dull one.

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You Can’t Please Everyone – The Scarlet Letter

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at The Scarlet Letter:

This book is like a bad soap. No action. No drama. Very predictable. It is about a woman who cheated on her husband with another man. The baby dad is the preacher. Why the couple couldn’t have gotten a divorce is beyond me.

I’m sure I would be able to understand the vivid descriptions and symbolism in this book much better, if Hawthorne were not writing in some sort of moon man language. I don’t know about the production of narcotics in the 1800’s, but I honestly think that Hawthorne wasn’t on a natural high if you know what I’m saying.

It is my invariably correct opinion that the so-called author responsible for this overly extravagant and flamboyant style of writing should be dragged into the street and summarily executed, with EXTREME prejudice, for crimes against humanity and the English language.

Throughout this entire book, one part of my brain was in a state of wonder, trying to imagine how anyone could make a book about scandal, sin, adultery, public shame and cowardice so dull. To finish the book was a test of will, and was accomplished because I hate to leave things undone.

I just thought it didn’t do a very good job of saying what it was trying to say. It was unnecessarily vague (what is the reason behind trying to confuse somebody?), wordy, high-flown and just too big. The story could have been told more effectively as a short story, even half the length. I don’t reccommend.

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You Can’t Please Everyone – Rocky

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at Rocky:

This movie is just 2 hours of sylvetster stalonne rambling on about something or other(probally homosexuallity) and i for one was more impressed with rocky 3 cause it had Mr. T

The main reason why I gave this movie 1 star is because the showdown between Rocky and Apollo Creed at the end is very disappointing. I was expecting a big climatic boxing match, but I was appalled at just how boring and short it was. Rocky didn’t even win the damn World Heavyweight Championship belt from Apollo Creed because the referee stopped the contest too soon. Right before the credits at the very end of the movie, Rocky looks so retarded screaming, “Adrian!” over and over again. What a lackluster conclusion. I’ve heard people tell me how the climax of this movie gave them goosebumps. Well guess what? I didn’t get one single goosebump! The ending to this movie sucked! Nearly everybody else seems to think that this movie is just the greatest thing they’ve ever seen, but I don’t.

I bought this because of the fact that the DVD cover said ” Nominated for 10 acadamy awards!” This movie is aweful! 1 star is giving it too much credit. I love Sly Stallone but his acting was too painful to watch. I went to bed after suffering through the first hour. My wife informed me that it didn’t get any better. If this movie were to be released in this day and age, it wouldn’t have a chance!

This has got to be the worst film I have ever seen in my life. I cant believe that there is more that one in the series. I absolutly hated it. I have never liked a film with Sylvester Stallone in it. Have you seen his mother, You cant tell them apart when there standing next to each other.

I dislike all of the Rocky Movies. I’m sorry, but they are all mindless, and Sylvester Stalone is annoying, and can’t act. One star is giving this movie way too much credit.

I know many think this was a great movie but it’s not for me

Stallones accent doesn’t help either. Strange enough the sequels were far better. The problem with this film is that it drags too much.

You Can’t Please Everyone – The Breakfast Club

One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature. Today we take a look at The Breakfast Club:

This is without a doubt one of the dumbest and worst films ever made. I came of age during the 80s and even I can’t sit through it. Terrible performances, breathtakingly silly dialogue, and gawdawful music. Is to film what Wang Chung was to music. A real super-duper-pooper.

OK in all seriousnessity…this movie has a misnomer. It really should just be called “The Lunch/Snack Time Club” because did anyone but me catch the fact that all the significant events occurred..DURING LUNCH/SNACK TIME?? helllo! it wouldn’t even qualify for the brunch club!

Sometime between 1967 and 1970 pictures started to stink more and more. But for about 15 more years at least they had solid storyline. Then in 1985 with the premiere of the Brat-Pack pictures (beginning with this one)pictures sucked and no longer had solid storyline. As for this film. I rest my case. The story which is (only!!!) about teenagers in detention wouldn’t have made a z-picture in Hollywood back in the 1950’s. As for the dialogue well, it’s weird to say the least. The film is pretty pointless!

This movie is terrible! I’m clueless why it’s so popular. I’ve never seen so much concentrated whining a movie. Please don’t waste your time by seeing this one.

When did dysfunction become something you celebrate with evening family screenings on the courthouse lawn with funny hats, foam-filled chairs, sacs of nutritionless substances and an out-of-place Husker Du reference? Or is it? I like to split up into three sections and go zooming across the screen, feet up like hooks, tail grinding in the gravy. How does a director even convince human beings to act in such a manner? Hi, have you heard, I’m the nerd. Then they show it at the retro soc hop iGasm. And you take your disillusioned significant other, palms pasty, hands clasped awkwardly and tight, reaching toward one last empty grasp at what is now long past, becoming a biased memory. You know what a breakfast club is? It’s where you compare the size of your sausages and — ladies in da hizzo — your eggs.

John Hughes can script and direct very well and proved that with”Pretty in Pink: and “16 Candles”. Legend has it that he cranked out the screenplay to “Breakfast Club” in two days, and I think it really shows. With exception of Anthony Michael Hall, the players are all poorly cast. Molly Ringwald is pretty and talented, but not pretty or talented enough to make an impression as a spoiled teen queen. Nor are Nelson and Estevez buyable as class stoner and class jock. Kids this age are often shallow, but the roles here have all the real depth of a leaky baby pool.
Worse than the poor casting is Hughes’ “reach-to-be-deep” script. This group of kids are supposed to jointly reach profound conclusions about their lives and themsleves in the matter of a few hours of detention. It’s a try-too-hard grasp at brilliance that cheapens the viewer and writer both.

With the small cast and lack of location shots, I’m amazed that I’ve never read about some high school drama club doing a stage production of this disaster. In any case, I’ve got a Breakfast Club DVD I’ll never watch again – I’ll post it under “Used & New” above.