Get Cynical

Conan’s been on Twitter for a couple of weeks now and randomly started following someone.

Since @conanobrien announced she was his “random” Twitter pal designee, Sarah has been showered with presents and attention, going from three followers to 12,713 in 24 hours. Strangers have practically planned her entire wedding for her, and someone sent her a new Apple computer. That was Matt from the Florida-based company, Hornblasters, by the way, who came to the rescue with an I-Mac when Sarah’s Webcam malfunctioned and it looked like she was going to have to cancel an MTV News interview via Skype Friday night.

When Show Tracker first contacted the very cute Sarah, she wanted nothing to do with us. She had interpreted our post about her as “negative” and she sent a polite but firm “No, thank you” to us. Then, when she realized that Show Tracker has been Twitter Tracking Conan, his freckles, Sharpie, Taurus, Monkey, Squirrel, and Beard, she saw for herself that Show Tracker is basically insane but harmless and she felt more at ease. As she told us, “People will try to take you down and I’m trying to avoid that.”

John Hodgman on Salinger’s passing.

From the NY Times:

The 140-character limit of Twitter posts was guided by the 160-character limit established by the developers of SMS. However, there is nothing new about new technology imposing restrictions on articulation. During the late 19th-century telegraphy boom, some carriers charged extra for words longer than 15 characters and for messages longer than 10 words. Thus, the cheapest telegram was often limited to 150 characters†.

Concerns for economy, as well as a desire for secrecy, fueled a boom in telegraphic code books that reduced both common and complex phrases into single words. Dozens of different codes were published; many catered to specific occupations and all promised efficiency.

Fake Christopher Walken.

(And no, it’s not really him. The scamps at clusterflock are behind this. )

If you said, “I would not call the police but instead tweet about it and aim a webcam at the dude” then you are this guy:

A strange man broke into Revision3 COO David Prager’s home last night.

Did David call the police? No, he updated Twitter and turned on a live video stream at Ustream.

This is someone who needs to get out of Silicon Valley.

Just so we’re clear, we do not recommend you try this at home. Call the police when you find someone you don’t know in your apartment.

From his Twitter page:

Sounds like a hoax to me. There are clips on YouTube of the incident which doesn’t dispel my disbelief either.

(via Buzzfeed)

Must be a bug going around.

(via Cockerham)

From A foot and a half:

“You realize that ‘The Real Shaq’ is probably a 5’4 White, 14 year old emo kid who’s getting his jolly’s from the attention, right?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. I think it’s really him”

Today Sean and I were discussing rumored trade situations over IM, and the possibility of Shaq being traded to Cleveland.

“Well, I just got a twitter from The Real Shaq, and he’s at 5 & Diner right now,” Sean informed me.

“Let’s go then” I said, assuming that I’d finally put this “Real Shaq” crap to rest.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up to the restaurant and looking for the big black truck that he’s rumored to drive around town. “Maybe that’s it” Sean said, pointing at an older, but nice Van and laughing. As we pulled up I saw the Superman symbol on the grill.

Maybe that is it?

We went in, and to my surprise the MDE(Most Dominant Ever) was sitting in the corner booth by himself. We gave the man a nod and “Hey” as we walked to our table and were soon whispering back and forth like 12 year old girls at the 7th grade dance.

“You go talk to him” I said, while tugging nervously on my dress.

“No, you go talk to him” Sean replied while flipping his hair.

We placed our order, and spent 10 minutes trying to work up the sack to go say something.

“Should I tell him I’m glad he’s sticking around?”

“Go tell him you’re his twitter buddy”

“Should I ask for a picture?”

Given another 2-3 years, I’m sure we would have worked up the nerve to go talk to him, but before that could happen Sean’s iPhone buzzed with a “tweet” from Shaq.

I feel twitterers around me, r there any twitterers in 5 n diner wit me, say somethin

I love that he drops three F-bombs upon learning that he won the award for children’s literature.

Newbery, not Newbury. Also FUCK!!!! I won the FUCKING NEWBERY THIS IS SO FUCKING AWESOM E. I thank you.

Twitter user 2drinksbehind was on the plane in Denver that skidded off the runway yesterday and was tweeting about it as he fled the crash. You may have to cycle through the archives a bit but I’ll give you his first post about it:

Holy fucking shit I wasbjust in a plane crash!

This is one of his latest tweets:

Just finished a feast of shellfish, pork, and a bacon cheeseburger with a guy who stopped being an orthodox jew because of my radio show