This is awful. I love it.
* Every now and again I use “rn” instead of “m.”
* I asked a guy at work if he’d ever got “that creepy deja vu feeling”. A week later, I did it again.
* I’ve been slowly increasing the mouse sensitivity on both of my roommates computers. In 2 weeks I’m going to put them back to the default and pretend like mine is slow too. I’m interested to see the conclusion that they will come to.
Somebody is spending a lot of time carting a skeleton around in different clothes and has created an instagram account called omgliterallydead.
From a legitimate news source:
WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials on Wednesday deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years had been living illegally in the United States under the name Lou Dobbs.
According to the Department of Homeland Security, federal agents stormed the undocumented immigrant’s home in an evening raid just hours after the 64-year-old newscaster suddenly announced that he was resigning from CNN, and immediately placed him on an Aeromexico flight departing from Newark Liberty Airport.
“Mr. Dominguez did not come quietly, but in the end he came,” said Sam Whitlock of the U.S. Border Patrol, who was injured during the arrest. “He pulled a knife on me, like they will, and swore a bunch in Spanish and spit on us when we finally managed to grab him by the serape and throw him against a wall. But the important thing is that he’s now back where he belongs.”