Get Cynical

(via Joe My God)

Talking Points Memo on why Michele Bachmann suddenly has stopped urging voters to not participate in the Census:

The state of Minnesota could be on the verge of losing a House seat after 2010 — and interestingly enough, it’s been a while since we heard Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) talk about refusing to participate in the Census.

Last year, Bachmann repeatedly said she would defy the Census by not completely filling out the information on the forms, but would instead only give the number of people in her household. She said that Census data was used to conduct the 1940′s Japanese-American internment, and warned that the government was seeking to gather information about people’s mental health. But as far as we can tell, her last anti-Census public statement was in August.

The largest newspaper in Minnesota, the Star-Tribune, is calling on the state’s citizens to vigorously participate in the Census. The key issue here is that according to current population estimates, Minnesota is right on the cusp of losing one of its eight seats in Congress, and will be in a close competition with Missouri, Texas and California for that district. The Strib points out that “Minnesota traditionally has had one big advantage — the cooperation of its civic-minded citizens.”

Bwahahaha. And here’s the really fun part:

The really fun fact, as I’ve learned from Minnesota experts, is that Bachmann’s district would likely be the first to go if the state lost a seat. The other seats are all fairly regular-shaped, logical districts built around identifiable regions of the state (Minneapolis, St. Paul, the Iron Range, and so on). Bachmann’s district is made of what’s left over after such a process, twisting and turning from a small strip of the Wisconsin border and curving deep into the middle of the state. As such, the obvious course of action if the state loses a seat is to split her district up among its neighbors.

From TPM:

In a column published yesterday, Newsmax’s John L. Perry wrote that there is a “gaining” possibility that the military will stage a coup to “resolve the ‘Obama problem.’”

Newsmax has apparently removed the column from its site. Links are now redirected to the homepage, and Perry’s author page has no mention of his latest work. You can read the full text here.

The coup — which would be “civilized” and “bloodless,” according to Perry — would consist of a “patriotic general” sitting down with the President and working out a new system in which “skilled, military-trained, nation-builders” would “do the serious business of governing and defending the nation” while Obama would still be allowed to make speeches.

From Oliver Willis.

Turns out Beck unmasked an insidious sleeper cell of a Kansas City high school step dancers.

The speech that has conservatives threatening to pull their kids from classes (Although I suspect that these are the same people who threaten to pull their kids from classes at any mention of Darwin, so the only surprising part about this is that people are surpised about this) has been released and it’s much worse than anybody thought:

The National Socialist program replaces the liberalistic conception of the individual by the conception of a people bound by their blood to the soil. Of all the tasks with which we are confronted, it is the grandest and most sacred task of man to preserve his race. This will not lead to an estrangement of the nations; on the contrary, it will lead for the first time to a mutual understanding. It will also prevent the Jewish people from trying to disintegrate and dominate other people under the mask of an innocent bourgeoisie.

Wait, that’s Hitler’s speech to the Reichstag on Jan. 30, 1937. Damn you Glenn Beck and your hypnotic watery eyes!

Here’s the ‘real’ speech.

After reading it, I can see why these Republicans don’t want their kids exposed to it. He talks about book learnin. Fucking socialist.

World Net Daily thinks that the speech might even be illegal:

And what Obama plans to do on Sept. 8 with a planned speech directly to students in public schools across the United States may even be illegal, according to Mathew D. Staver, founder of Liberty Counsel as well as dean of Liberty University School of Law.

“Obama has pushed his political agenda to the extreme by forcing himself on America’s children,” Staver said in a statement today. “Obama’s political agenda on healthcare and his expansive vision for government is being rejected by the American people. Now Obama is after our children, who, like some socialist members of Congress, have not read the healthcare bill. Americans do not appreciate the president’s attempt to use our children as political pawns in his game of chess. Mr. President, you must abide by the rule of law and stop this illegal activity. Our children do not belong to you.”

Parents are even breaking down on tv crying about this flagrant attempt to initiate an Obama Youth:

Republicans really want to see Obama’s penis.

(via Shakesville)

Developing…

Obama’s real mother was his Kenyan grandmother:

Well, Madelyn Dunham is a very interesting person. As you know, Barack … the … and I want to be careful when he identify people as “mother,” “father,” “grandmother,” and so forth because honestly I don’t think we know with any certainty whatsoever who those players are in Barack Obama’s life. And perhaps he doesn’t either. I suspect he does, but it’s possible he doesn’t know. And it is entirely within the realm of possibility that Madelyn Dunham was his mother and there’s a lot of circumstantial evidence to suggest that.

(via J-Walk)

They’re not happy:

Last time he was over in that part of the world, he sold the USA out to China alone with some highly classified information. He is a Benedick as far as I’m concerned.

How can he get those two girls out but leave Christian people that are persecuted in there who have been there much longer in the work camps.

Can a man make a deal with the Devil? All he did was play right into their hand.

If I was to visit the North Korea leader, I would give him a Bible in the Korean language and ask him to explain the excution of an innocent Christian lady the other week.

PLEASE don’t call him an ex-president! Cowards are not presidents! For 8 years, we didn’t have one!

If GW were still the president, its doubtful this would have happened. But if it had, Bush would be on the phone to the “beloved leader” giving him 24 hours to release the journalist or [mushroom cloud gif]

(Thanks Patrick)