Tom Cruise Recalls His Past Lives
This reads more like parody than a news report and it is from The Daily Record but since it deals with the completely insane Tom Cruise I don't completely doubt this:
Cruise, a devoted follower of the bizarre Church of Scientology, said: "I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents and developed cures for diseases"I only took my present form because Bingodulla, whom all Scientologists worship as the Supreme Thetan, selected me to spread the gospel of Scientology to the glib, uninformed masses.
"I really would have preferred being a brain surgeon or a research scientist in this life."
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