‘World’s Chillest Man’ Sips Beer as Gunman Robs Bar

I feel like this guy has seen some serious shit to be unfazed by this:

A regular at a St. Louis bar was completely unfazed by an armed robber who stormed the watering hole. In fact, he lit up a cigarette moments after facing the barrel of the pistol.

Tony Tovar was relaxing with a beer at the decades-old Behrmann’s Tavern when a gunman entered, demanding customers and staff get on the ground and hand over their cash and phones, according to NBC affiliate KSDK.

Surveillance video dated Aug. 28 shows people fled, hid or hit the ground, save for Tovar who remained seated at the bar as the suspected robber pressed what bartender Dustin Krueger described as a “heavily modified pistol” against Tovar’s arm.

“I said not another punk trying to pull a punk move,” Tovar said to KSDK. “I’m so tired of people in South City thinking they can control people because they wanna muscle their way in with firearms or attitudes or some sort of aggression.”

Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt

I gotta admit, this one stings a bit.

BOSTON—The twigs and acorns crunching pleasurably beneath his boots, Mr. Autumn Man Dennis Clemons, 32, reportedly strolled down Massachusetts Avenue on Wednesday wearing a gray sweater over a plaid collared shirt as he cradled a cup of pumpkin-spiced coffee and relished the crisp October morning.

“Nothing beats autumn in New England,” said His Excellency, the Duke of Fall, who began the day swaddled in a warm flannel blanket, gazing out the window at the golden-hued landscape, as is his custom this time of year. “Everywhere the leaves are changing and the temperature is starting to drop off. You can smell it in the air.”

“Tonight it may even dip into the 30s,” added the cozy autumnal personage, who at several points wrapped both hands around his warm container of coffee and inhaled deeply. “Perfect weather for building a fire.”