Anybody Listen to the Alex Jones Show Lately?

We know the President likes Alex Jones. Let’s catch up on what Alex is up to lately with an excerpt from his show yesterday:

ROBERT DAVID STEELE: This may strike your listeners as way out but we actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20 year ride. So that once they get to Mars they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony. There’s all kinds of —

ALEX JONES (HOST): Look, I know that 90 percent of the NASA missions are secret and I’ve been told by high level NASA engineers that you have no idea, there is so much stuff going on. But then it goes off into all that, that’s the kind of thing media jumps on. But I know this: we see a bunch of mechanical wreckage on Mars and people say, “Oh look, it looks like mechanics.” They go, “Oh, you’re a conspiracy theorist.” Clearly they don’t want us looking into what is happening. Every time probes go over they turn them off.

[…]

JONES: Well I don’t know about Mars bases, but I know they’ve created massive, thousands of different types of chimeras that are alien lifeforms on this earth now.

Oh fuck it. I’m going back to bed. Wake me in 2020 if we aren’t too deep in nuclear winter.

The Daily Beast called NASA for a statement. They acted shifty like a D.C. pizza parlor and denied the rumor.