Alabama Official: God Told Me to Ban Saggy Pants

From The Daily Beast:

He thought about it, prayed about it, and now an Alabama councilman is close to ending one local evil that’s plagued him for years: saggy pants.

Dadeville city councilor Frank Goodman told The Daily Beast that he issued an ordinance to prohibit “busting slack” after asking God how to handle the sartorial scourge ravaging his town of 3,200. The law might also banish short shorts and skimpy dresses, following a suggestion from a city councilwoman.

“We have a lot of older people here who don’t want to see it. A lot of middle-aged people don’t want to see it either,” said Goodman, 66. “They don’t want to see anybody walking around with their pants down with underwear that is showing.

“That is something that has never struck my fancy,” he added.

Goodman said he first proposed banning saggy pants when he took office in 2008, but the legislation fell by the wayside. Still, he couldn’t take the low-riding trousers any longer. Every time he goes to the grocery store or department store, he sees it.

“Seeing the young boys with pants hanging down, having to walk wide-legged, holding their pants up to keep them from falling down—now it’s gotten real bad,” Goodman said. “It’s something I couldn’t take no more.”

So Goodman turned to the Lord for the legislative inspiration, though it’s unclear how many inches would be too short or too low for proper pants-wearing.

“I prayed and asked God to show me what I should do, and the way I should go about it,” Goodman said. “What would God do? Did God go around doing this?”

4 Comments

  1. Did God go around making intrusive and arbitrary laws about what clothes to wear and how? Yes, I suppose that stuff is in there. Go for it, and make sure nobody’s wearing poly blends. We have a lot of tasteful people who don’t want to see that. Also God.

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