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      1. Hot nutella is fine. Cold nutella is fine. Lukewarm nutella is fine (which makes it better than coffee because coffee is only good at extremes)

        But you calling it a bullshit holiday is where I must throw the gauntlet. You can take your War on Nutelladay elsewhere good sir!

      2. Actually, there’s a crepe stand on my way home. I guess I’ll get a Nutella crepe this evening, but not because of the bullshit holiday!

        I’ll eat it, and complain quietly to myself that it’s just not as good as the one I had in Paris. I’ll even compare it unfavorably to the one I had in Berlin.

        Oh, by the way, today is also National Snob Day. Although it’s a federal holiday, few people get it off, because you’ve probably never heard of it.

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