Robert Mugabe Falls Down Stairs, Tries to Get Photographers to Delete the Picture

From The Independent:

Mugabe’s security team was quick to step in, surrounding the president and helping him the rest of the way to a park limousine.

As the car sped away, officials turned their attention to the TV cameras and photographers present. A number of journalists told the Associated Press they were forced to delete their pictures of the incident by security personnel.

Looks like he is just learning about The Streisand Effect.

Dalai Lama’s Doctor Claims 200 Yr Old Mummified Monk is Not Dead, Just Meditating

Watch out Dalai Lama, your doc seems to be preemptively setting up a malpractice defense strategy:

A mummified monk found in the lotus position in Mongolia is ‘not dead’ and is instead one stage away from becoming a real-life Buddha, it has been claimed.

Forensic examinations are under way on the amazing remains, which are believed to be around 200 years old, having been preserved in animal skin. But one expert has insisted the human relic is actually in ‘very deep meditation’ and in a rare and very special spiritual state known as ‘tukdam’.

Over the last 50 years there are said to have been 40 such cases in India involving meditating Tibetan monks.

Dr Barry Kerzin, a famous Buddhist monk and a physician to the Dalai Lama, said: ‘I had the privilege to take care of some meditators who were in a tukdam state.

‘If the person is able to remain in this state for more than three weeks – which rarely happens – his body gradually shrinks, and in the end all that remains from the person is his hair, nails, and clothes. Usually in this case, people who live next to the monk see a rainbow that glows in the sky for several days. This means that he has found a ‘rainbow body’. This is the highest state close to the state of Buddha’.

He added: ‘If the meditator can continue to stay in this meditative state, he can become a Buddha. Reaching such a high spiritual level the meditator will also help others, and all the people around will feel a deep sense of joy’.

Nativist Idiots Mistake Latin for Spanish, Totally Lose Their Shit

From Gawker:

Last month, a Vermont lawmaker introduced a bill to give his state a Latin motto (“Stella quarta decima fulgeat”) in addition to its official one, the suggestion of a middle school student studying the ancient language. Pretty cute, right?

It was, at least, until a local news station asked its viewers what they thought about the proposal, asking on Facebook, “Should Vermont have an official Latin motto?” You can probably guess what happened next:

Christian Missionary Disappointed That Africa Wasn’t Totally Destitute

A missionary goes to Nairobi and is shocked that it’s not like a Feed the Children commercial:

Wilhelm took us to The Junction {Nairobi’s version of a mall}.
We walked around looking for a place to exchange money and eat some lunch. We hadn’t eaten anything since our flight from Paris.
We had to walk through security just to get in the door.
They opened my purse, patted us down and then we went inside.
There were guards at every store, some with machine guns and some with sticks.
I kept looking at John and then looking around me and he noticed that I was struggling to take it in.

My heart was prepared for dirt floors.
For dirty laundry hanging everywhere.
For kids that were half naked and covered in bug bites.
People who couldn’t speak English.

not this [picture of a supermarket stocked with food]