With Friends Like These

Groom traumatised by stag party kidnapping:

A British groom says he was traumatised by a stag party prank that saw him kidnapped by 16 hooded men and left bound and gagged in a speeding van for more than two hours.

Ollie McAnich, from Somerset in southwest England, was driving with his fiancée Clair Hart in the countryside when the gang ran out onto the road and stopped their car, the Sun reports.

Video shot by the groom’s friends shows the supposed kidnappers setting off smoke grenades and screaming as they hussle Mr McAnich and his fiancée out of their car.

Ms Hart was in on the prank and acted terrified as her husband-to-be was forced into an orange Guantanamo Bay-style jumpsuit and tied up in the back of the gang’s van.

“For more than two hours I was in that van. I’ve never been so scared,” Mr McAnich told The Sun.

The group drove for more than 160km before finally telling their terrified victim he had been punked but his ordeal did not end there.

FL Accidentally Bans Computers and Smart Phones

Not from The Onion:

When Florida lawmakers recently voted to ban all Internet cafes, they worded the bill so poorly that they effectively outlawed every computer in the state, according to a recent lawsuit.

In April Florida Governor Rick Scott approved a ban on slot machines and Internet cafes after a charity tied to Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll was shut down on suspicion of being an Internet gambling front — forcing Carroll, who had consulted with the charity, to resign.

Florida’s 1,000 Internet cafes were shut down immediately, including Miami-Dade’s Incredible Investments, LLC, a café that provides online services to migrant workers, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

The owner, Consuelo Zapata, is now suing the state after her legal team found that the ban was so hastily worded that it can be applied to any computer or device connected to the Internet, according to a copy of the complaint obtained by The Miami Herald.

The ban defines illegal slot machines as any “system or network of devices” that may be used in a game of chance.

And that broad wording can be applied to any number of devices, according to the Miami law firm of Kluger, Kaplan, Silverman, Katzen & Levine, who worked with constitutional law attorney and Harvard professor Alan Dershowitz.

6 Books Everyone (Including Your English Teacher) Got Wrong

From Cracked:

#6.
Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle
Upton Sinclair’s expose of the American meatpacking industry is largely to thank for the massive drop in cases of gastroenteritis (and rise of vegetarianism) around the dawn of the 20th century. When the book was published, the public, pretty keen on taking solid shits, was outraged by the novel’s accurate depictions of the unsanitary conditions in slaughterhouses and lack of regulations forbidding the practice of shoveling week-old entrails off the floor along with the cow shit and calling it sausage.

What it’s really about:

It wasn’t about sanitation or meat safety. Sinclair was actually trying to expose the exploitation of American factory workers and convert Americans to socialism.

He went undercover for several weeks as a meat packer and not only saw that working conditions in meat-packing factories at the time were horribly unsafe, but that there was massive corruption within the upper levels of management. The stockyards exploited not only the common man, but also the common women and children, who worked the same lengthy shifts and lost the same useful appendages to machinery without proper safeguards. At one point in the book, an employee accidentally falls inside a giant meat grinder and is later sold as lard.

But much to Sinclair’s frustration, the public’s reaction was less “that poor exploited worker!” and more “HOLY SHIT THERE MIGHT BE PEOPLE IN MY LARD.” They read right past the hardship of the workers and focused entirely on how gross the meat-packing process was.