Holy Crap

From TheStar.com:

Jonathan Simkins found himself facing a million angry, venom-filled females deep in the Florida woods recently.

“This nest was an amazing nest,” the entomologist and insect removal expert told the Star. “It was the most interesting and awesome experience I’ve ever had.”

Simkins, co-owner of Insect IQ, was staring down a yellow jacket colony about the size of a Smart car that posed a lethal danger to hunters and lumberjacks on a thousand-acre timber lot in Central Florida.

It took him two days to vanquish the three-to-five-year-old colony, which housed a thousand queen wasps and a million “daughters.”

“When I first went out there, this colony was camouflaged. I didn’t even see it until we walked up to it.”

But they saw him. Sentry yellow jackets buzzed toward him to check him out when he was still 40 metres away.

Clad in two bee suits, the veteran stinging insect expert stirred up the nest a few times to study the wasps’ method of defence.

“The noise was amazing. It was like a yellow jacket tornado coming for me.

“The alarm pheromone was so strong it made my eyes water and my nose run. When they land on you, they regurgitate so the others can find you.”


Texas Abortion Opponents To Cheer Selves Up With Execution

From a news source:

AUSTIN, TX—Following state senator Wendy Davis’ successful filibuster of sweeping abortion restrictions last night, disappointed Texans told reporters they are looking forward to tonight’s scheduled execution of convicted murderer Kimberly McCarthy to cheer them back up. “I was completely devastated after learning that abortion providers throughout the state would remain open, but thankfully, there’s nothing better to lift up our spirits than an old-fashioned execution,” said Fort Worth anti-abortion activist Caroline Hinton, who added that the impending lethal injection of McCarthy was “more than enough” to put a smile back on her face. “And as soon as I remembered that the state of Texas is preparing to take a woman’s life this evening by strapping her onto a gurney and shooting a cocktail of deadly chemicals into her arteries, I just perked right up and put those failed abortion restrictions out of my mind.