NY Times Review of Guy Fieri’s New Restaurant

I love me a good Guy Fieri takedown:

Somewhere within the yawning, three-level interior of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, is there a long refrigerated tunnel that servers have to pass through to make sure that the French fries, already limp and oil-sogged, are also served cold?

What accounts for the vast difference between the Donkey Sauce recipe you’ve published and the Donkey Sauce in your restaurant? Why has the hearty, rustic appeal of roasted-garlic mayonnaise been replaced by something that tastes like Miracle Whip with minced raw garlic?

And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?

Is the entire restaurant a very expensive piece of conceptual art? Is the shapeless, structureless baked alaska that droops and slumps and collapses while you eat it, or don’t eat it, supposed to be a representation in sugar and eggs of the experience of going insane?

Comments

9 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. I’m so pleased that Guy has received nothing but scathing reviews. He and the executive’s love for him at Food Network have made that network almost unwatchable. Leave it to a food or fashion critic to keep it “real”.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  2. ange,

    there’s no way in hell i’d pay that much for midwestern-style food.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  3. Mike K,

    Before now, I don’t believe I’ve ever read a review where literally every sentence ends with a question mark.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  4. nifer,

    and here are some choice lines from the review, with cats:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  5. albaby,

    I’ve often wondered why it always seems like a Guy Fierifest on Food Network. Why does he take up so much airspace?

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  6. damnedyankee,

    24 hours later, Fieri’s backers must be in full panic mode. He’s been all over the morning shows, at one point even calling in Dr. Phil for backup. Lot of ad hominem attacks on the reviewer.

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  7. jessieomc,

    That douchebag, Guy, is gonna need some skin grafts cause that’s a BURN!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  8. Cornjob,

    I guility admit trying one or two of his recipes and they both went straight down the dispoal, and I consider myself a fairly decent cook. I do all of it at our house.

    I like Hawaiian shirts as much as the next casual person, but I’d never wear them 24/7. I also would never EVER wear flip-flops in a restaurant’s kitchen. Nor would I ever wear sunglasses backwards. Nor would I call each and every thing ‘money’.

    Food Network is going down the road that MTV did way back in the day. Less and less cooking shows, and more and more, “reality” type shows, cupcake compeitions, and highlighting the worst cooks in America. I’ll stick with PBS for my cooking show fix. Yes, Christopher Kimball is a bit of a snob on America’s Test Kitchen, but at least they’re consistent with their recipes. (Sorry for the rant.)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  9. Mike K,

    I’ll still take him over that British guy that yells at everyone.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0


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