I once decided I was going to really learn chess. I was tired of feeling like I had no idea what the hell was going on every time I played. So I looked into it and found out about all these opening moves that had been analyzed in depth over many decades. I decided to learn them all.
Now I still have no idea what the hell is going on every time I play, but at least I can tell you what the hopelessly confusing jumble of pieces is called, so I’m making progress, right?
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I have mastered devious sudokus I have two way drawn and soloed on online Diplomacy sites. I can complete the weirdest Saturday NYT crosswords in an hour, but I suck suck suck at chess.
Every time I play a queen gambit I lose
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