1. I don’t know, texting while walking in what looks like a suburban alleyway doesn’t seem like the kind of behavior that warrants a Darwin award. Then again maybe I’ve just had the wrong idea about the concept of those awards this whole time.

      1. True as far as it goes. But getting mauled by a bear while texting while walking in what looks like a suburban alleyway…

    1. She’s walking over to him while texting, he’s texting while walking to her, then BAM! their genitals meet.

      Do you really want to risk that?!?!

  1. This bear is in an unfamiliar environment and is unlikely to attack anyone. In the woods you’d want to stand off the bear and back away, but this bear is frightened and totally lost. It will not attack unless cornered or agitated.

    But that’s similar to what I said in the most hated comment in the history of Cynical-C

    Keep in mind that I am a former dog groomer, vet tech, and rodent breeder.

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