“Okay, so now if you go over and touch the donkey, the circuit should be complete. If this works, I can finally go into electric engineering and leave the dead-end world of carpentry behind.”
“Mom, you know I love you, and I’m always happy to see you, but I rode all the way out here to help you make pita bread? You’ve got two perfectly good hands, you can flatten them yourself.”
We all played this game as kids:
“Now, with your left hand, rub your thumb and forefinger up and down both of our hands at the same time. Feels weird, doesn’t it?”
“And–I think we’re doing this right–if you look through it, it looks like a vagina.”
“Look through what?”
“The hole. Don’t you have one?”
“No, is this what vaginas are supposed to look like?”
“How should I know?”
I remember not understanding that the first time someone showed me that trick.
“OK, now, open your palms a little bit. What’s that look like?”
“It looks like the space between your fingers.”
“No, no. Dude – what does it… look like?”
“I dunno. Let’s go to the 7-11 and play Pac-Man or something.”
‘The ‘Homeless, please help’ sign only got me dirty looks, but with this ‘Son of God’ bit we’re get a mule, bread, anything we want! That was a great idea! Gimme some skin, hustlah!”
Comments
41 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.Who wants to tap that ass? Ha Ha! Come on, up top!
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If you were referring to the mule, that’s even funnier.
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“Pattycake, pattycake, baker’s man,
Bake me a cake as fast as you can….”
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“Roll it and pat it and mark it with a J, and throw it in the oven for about five thousand people and me!”
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I’m leaving you for the donkey.
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“I saw this show in Tijuana…”
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“What’s up with the man hands?”
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See, if your ring finger is longer than your middle finger it means you’re gay.
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“Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”
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“Shit, Jesus, who taught you how to pack a mule? That’s some fucked up Beverly Hillbillies shit you got going.”
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As a carpenter, Jesus really only knew how to make tables.
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Simultaneously: “Talk to the hand!”
“Hahahahah, you owe me a Coke!”
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“Wonder Twin Powers Activate!”
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No, no. You use both of your OWN hands to clap.
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1
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Way back then, this was known as 1st base.
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11 
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And now, in many religious circles, this is known as second base.
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2 
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Who knew that JC’s favorite film was Barbarella?
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The rules of this game is to get as close as you can to the other person without touching each other. Oops, looks like you won.
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The donkey: Just wait until your dates over sweetheart, you won’t think I’m the ass anymore.
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They’ll never know that those pitas are made from donkey doo.
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Live long and prosper.
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Patty – Christ, Patty-Christ, Carpenter.
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donkey’s eyes bulged in shock as he overheard Jesus describing to the young lady on the other side of the invisible glass what a conjugal visit was
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“Okay, so now if you go over and touch the donkey, the circuit should be complete. If this works, I can finally go into electric engineering and leave the dead-end world of carpentry behind.”
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0 
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“Mom, you know I love you, and I’m always happy to see you, but I rode all the way out here to help you make pita bread? You’ve got two perfectly good hands, you can flatten them yourself.”
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M – They think I’m an virgin !
J – They think I an the son of god!
M+J = Holla!!
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“Let she who is without sin give me the first high five!”
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1 
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We all played this game as kids:
“Now, with your left hand, rub your thumb and forefinger up and down both of our hands at the same time. Feels weird, doesn’t it?”
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
“And–I think we’re doing this right–if you look through it, it looks like a vagina.”
“Look through what?”
“The hole. Don’t you have one?”
“No, is this what vaginas are supposed to look like?”
“How should I know?”
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3 
1
I remember not understanding that the first time someone showed me that trick.
“OK, now, open your palms a little bit. What’s that look like?”
“It looks like the space between your fingers.”
“No, no. Dude – what does it… look like?”
“I dunno. Let’s go to the 7-11 and play Pac-Man or something.”
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1 
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“Then I stole all of his furniture and his donkey!”
“FUCK YES!”
HIGH FIVE!!
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I really hope that solvent gets here soon.
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“Qui-Gon Jinn, don’t worry about that Darth Maul guy, – you’re the best Jedi ever. Before you go, let’s kick some ass”
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‘The ‘Homeless, please help’ sign only got me dirty looks, but with this ‘Son of God’ bit we’re get a mule, bread, anything we want! That was a great idea! Gimme some skin, hustlah!”
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1 
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“What do you mean you forgot to put on any protection?”
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“I’ll show you my loaves if you show my your fish.”
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When I hang out with the Trinity, my Father and I like to perform this thing called the Eiffel Tower on the Holy Ghost. See how it works?
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“Okay. With the payment of the donkey, you are now fully enrolled in the Mime School of the Holy Spirit. The first lesson….the glass box!”
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“Don’t worry, it’ll be fun – I saw them do it on Jackass. Now, how long does it take this glue to dry?”
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Form of: a Tyrannosaurus!
Form of: an ice-skating rink!
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