1. “Roll it and pat it and mark it with a J, and throw it in the oven for about five thousand people and me!”

  1. “Shit, Jesus, who taught you how to pack a mule? That’s some fucked up Beverly Hillbillies shit you got going.”

  2. The rules of this game is to get as close as you can to the other person without touching each other. Oops, looks like you won.

  3. donkey’s eyes bulged in shock as he overheard Jesus describing to the young lady on the other side of the invisible glass what a conjugal visit was

  4. “Okay, so now if you go over and touch the donkey, the circuit should be complete. If this works, I can finally go into electric engineering and leave the dead-end world of carpentry behind.”

  5. “Mom, you know I love you, and I’m always happy to see you, but I rode all the way out here to help you make pita bread? You’ve got two perfectly good hands, you can flatten them yourself.”

  6. We all played this game as kids:
    “Now, with your left hand, rub your thumb and forefinger up and down both of our hands at the same time. Feels weird, doesn’t it?”

    1. “And–I think we’re doing this right–if you look through it, it looks like a vagina.”
      “Look through what?”
      “The hole. Don’t you have one?”
      “No, is this what vaginas are supposed to look like?”
      “How should I know?”

      1. I remember not understanding that the first time someone showed me that trick.
        “OK, now, open your palms a little bit. What’s that look like?”
        “It looks like the space between your fingers.”
        “No, no. Dude – what does it… look like?”
        “I dunno. Let’s go to the 7-11 and play Pac-Man or something.”

  7. “Qui-Gon Jinn, don’t worry about that Darth Maul guy, – you’re the best Jedi ever. Before you go, let’s kick some ass”

  8. ‘The ‘Homeless, please help’ sign only got me dirty looks, but with this ‘Son of God’ bit we’re get a mule, bread, anything we want! That was a great idea! Gimme some skin, hustlah!”

  9. When I hang out with the Trinity, my Father and I like to perform this thing called the Eiffel Tower on the Holy Ghost. See how it works?

  10. “Okay. With the payment of the donkey, you are now fully enrolled in the Mime School of the Holy Spirit. The first lesson….the glass box!”

  11. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fun – I saw them do it on Jackass. Now, how long does it take this glue to dry?”

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