Caption This

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58 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. Dale,

    Unable to find better work in the down economy, Jesus takes a job as Dr. Jacobson’s secretary.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  2. Dale,

    “When I snap my fingers you will cluck like a chicken.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  3. Dale,

    “Does it say anything in your medical book about fixing holes in hands and feet? C’mon, man. I’m bleeding out here.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

  4. Gruggach,

    Doctor, doctor, gimme the news. I got a bad case of loving Jews.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 28 Thumb down 0

  5. Dr. Jones showed tremendous restraint when the carpenter overstepped his bounds again.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

  6. PeterW,

    “See? It says dilation and then curettage.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

  7. MacCrocodile,

    “Turn the page already! I swear, you must be the world’s slowest reader!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

  8. MacCrocodile,

    “See, this is the one I wanted you to see. You can see Garfield has a serious problem with Mondays. Of course, an actual talking cat would be an abomination deserving of death, but I think in this context, it’s rather humorous.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0

  9. Dale,

    ‘Jesus’ once again slips out of his room on the Mental Disabilities wing of the hospital to pay Doctor Griffen a visit.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  10. Dale,

    “Ok, now let’s look up ‘vagina.’”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 0

  11. marvinj,

    “So take out this part about the dinosaurs and add something about God putting the oil there himself.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  12. Dale,

    “Well here’s your problem. This is the Old Testament!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

  13. MacCrocodile,

    “Excuse me, doctor, I think I know a thing or two about treating leprosy. What’s all this about ‘antibiotics’? Where’s the covering of the upper lip? the bald head? the shouting ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ This book is useless.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 0

  14. Dale,

    “Cialis or Viagra, I don’t care which. I just need a refill.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  15. Dale,

    “Whoa. Who still uses the phone book, doc. Get out of the Bronze Age and Google it.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  16. Ryno68,

    Maybe if I ignore him he’ll go away.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  17. MacCrocodile,

    “If it’s all the same, I’d rather not get a tetanus shot. I’ve had enough things poked through my skin, thanks. Are you sure there’s no other treatment for lockjaw?”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  18. MacCrocodile,

    “Bam! What did I tell you. 1963, The Birds starring Tippi Hedren, not Kim Novak! You owe me a hundred bucks, doctor. Too bad; you could have spent that money on an internet connection, and we could settle these things faster next time.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  19. jen,

    Look, if you’d stop pouting and actually read the books on how the procedures are done, you’d have a helluva lot less malpractice suits against you!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  20. gruggach,

    I’m not a real messiah, but I play one on TV.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  21. gruggach,

    I don’t know about you, doc, but I swore to uphold the Hypocritical Oath.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  22. gruggach,

    See? I told you! It’s right here in the big book of psychological disorders. “Munchausen by Proxy” Dad makes me suffer so He can get all the attention!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 22 Thumb down 0

  23. hinten,

    Science, schmience. Let me show you how it’s done.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  24. beatnikhusker,

    Are you SURE?! Because the last guy I worked for said Propofol was fairly safe.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  25. gruggach,

    I swear if this guy tells the “It hurts when I do this…” joke one more time I’m gonna pop him one.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  26. Brian,

    Jesus…. don’t… .fucking…. touch…. me

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  27. Doug,

    This guy behind me is really pissing me off.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  28. outeast,

    Nah, doc, trust me. Propofol’s a way safer bet.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  29. outeast,

    btw so far MacCroc and Grug are neck-and-neck at 5 captions each, but Dale’s leading the field with 8…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    • MacCrocodile,

      “Please focus. The test is tomorrow, and if you think wearing a white coat is enough to make you a doctor, clearly you need to study.”

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    • MacCrocodile,

      “Really? Your cancer patients are still sick and dying? Guh, it’s like you’re not even trying to heal the sick.”

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    • MacCrocodile,

      “A 4 goes here, and a 6 here…”
      “Do you mind, Jesus? Would you like your own sudoku book?”

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    • MacCrocodile,

      “Really? White at this time of year? Have a look at this nice off-white linen color. You might consider getting a lab coat in this material.”

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

      • Dale,

        I’m just going to boost my numbers by telling MacCrocodile how much I like his comments.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

      • MacCrocodile,

        God forbid any of those comments should come with a thumbs up…

        Besides, we’re counting captions here. I still count myself as in the lead, but if someone could come up with a thumb count, we could settle this once and for all.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  30. Kip,

    Look jesus, fuck off, this is science not magic.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  31. gruggach,

    Staph infection… stenosis of the arteries… strep throat… This can’t be right, doc! Where’s stigmata?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  32. Ninabi,

    Christian Scientist? You’re doin’ it wrong. Here, let me take your textbooks and microscope away from you and try again.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  33. Dale,

    This may seem a little uncomfortable, but when I tell you, turn to the left and cough.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  34. gruggach,

    Dammit, Jesus! I’m a doctor not a carpenter!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

  35. gruggach,

    I know I’m not 40 yet, doc, but I really want you to check my rectory.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

  36. Dale,

    “One of your patients requested a cross examination.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  37. gruggach,

    I don’t know how to break this to you, Mr. Christ, but the radioation treatments seem to have had an unexpected side effect. You see… it’s about that glow around your head…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  38. gruggach,

    It says right here: 1 million angels cna dance on the head of a pin. Fire up the microscope Mr. Science Guy and I’ll show you!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  39. gruggach,

    After years of Vicodin abuse, Dr. House begins to hallucinate.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  40. gruggach,

    If you had spent more time washing your hands rather than having your feet washed we wouldn’t be having this chat about your hepatitis now, would we?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  41. MacCrocodile,

    “No, Jesus, I’ve looked a thousand times. The Bible doesn’t describe any treatments for Influenza A or B! I guess they’re all going to die.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  42. MacCrocodile,

    “There, see for yourself. It is not spelled ‘LORDosis’, or even ‘Lordosis’, and it has nothing to do with you. What you have is melanoma.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  43. MacCrocodile,

    “I’m sorry, Jesus, we did everything we could for your father, but I’m afraid he didn’t make it. Doctor Nietzsche will be in shortly to discuss your options.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    • MacCrocodile,

      Jehova started with an I, but he finished with a myocardial infarction.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  44. Fink,

    Can it be?!? Yes! Oh, praise His name, my boner is back!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  45. gruggach,

    Jesus, dressed only in his open backed hospital gown, turns the other cheek.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  46. mrclam,

    “I’m telling you, Doc, those idiotic Pro-Lifers are coming to bomb the clinic! We gotta get out of here!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0


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