• FlamingAtheist

    Is that Andy Dwyer from Parks and Recreation?

    • MacCrocodile

      “We’re Jesus and the Disciples, but we might change the name.”

  • MacCrocodile

    “And here’s a little number called Bat Out of Hell.”

  • Zorbo

    After the gig there will be a serving of five burgers and two hot dogs.

    I just hope there’s enough for everybody.

  • Dale

    “And she’s buyyyiing the stai-air way ……..”

  • Mangawitch

    Kum ba ya my me….

    kum ba ya ..

  • Dale

    I thought Clapton was god.

  • Dale

    “Fire on the mountain/run boys, run…”

  • Devysciple

    Newly discovered photos show that early in his career, Robert Johnson was a white guy. He only turned African American after his infamous deal with the devil

  • MacCrocodile

    “We three, we’re all alone / living in a memory / my echo, my shadow and me.”

  • hinten

    Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
    Whip-crack went his Whoopy tail,
    And the beast was done.
    He asked us: “(snort) Be you angels?”
    And we said, “Nay. We are but men.”
    Rock!
    Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
    Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

    This is not The Greatest Song in the World, no.
    This is just a tribute.
    Couldn’t remember The Greatest Song in the World, no, no.
    This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Song in the World,
    All right! It was The Greatest Song in the World,
    All right! It was the best muthafuckin’ song the greatest song in the world.

  • MacCrocodile

    Despite his natural rhythm and perfect pitch, Jesus’s musical career never really took off, as at least twice per concert a nail would catch on his guitar strings, and he’d have to take a break to replace the strings.

    • Dale

      He was never one for hammering notes.

    • Dale

      The other problem was, no matter how long the fans stayed and how much they cheered and clapped, he never returned for an encore.

      • MacCrocodile

        Well, he did once, but only after three days. The audience was long gone. Some people went back and are still there, two thousand years later, chanting “Encore! Encore!”

  • Dale

    “Played until my fingers bled…..— uh…. actually, that’s not my fingers bleeding, but you know what I mean — ….It was the summer of ’69”

    • ben

      Oddly, I pictured Jesus singing the summer of ’69, too.

  • Dale

    “Now I’d like to do my favorite Jesus and the Mary Chain song…”

  • Zorbo

    Jeez, yet another Carpenters song.

    • MacCrocodile

      “Maundy days and Thursdays always get me down…”

  • gruggach

    Don’t think this was the pose that Soundgarden was talking about.

  • Dale

    Here comes another Grateful Dead song.

  • But if you play his album backwards he is singing “here’s to my sweet satan”

  • Al

    “You gotta keep the devil…down in the hole”

    Thank you, thank you…I’ll be here for the rest of eternity. TRY THE VEAL!

  • Cornjob

    Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be resurrected. Nothin’ to do no where to go-o-oh I wanna be resurrected. Just get me to the manger, put me on a plane. Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
    I can’t control my fingers I can’t control my brain
    Oh no no no no no…. (Yeah, yeah, ANY excuse to use a Ramones lyric. Sue me.)

  • Hrimgrimnir

    Frickin’ NIckleback…

  • dang

    Krist Kristofferson

    • Dale

      Christopher Cross.

      • Mike K

        Without the “opher”

  • Dale

    “Waaaaaaalk on the waater/Fire in the sky.”

  • senorglory

    “Hava nagila Hava Nagila Hava ve-nisme?a…”

  • Dave

    Pretty girl on the hood of a Cadilac, yeah….
    She’s broken down on freeway nine.
    I take a look and her engine’s started,
    I leave her purring and I roll on by….bye bye

    Free love on the free love freeway,
    The love is free and the freeway’s long…

    • Cornjob

      I will have that going through my head for the next three days now. 😀

  • gruggach

    Jesus of Nazareth.

    Oh man, am I ever going to get razz amanazzed for that one.

    • Mike K

      I got it. Don’t worry, I won’t Judas You.

  • apachesux

    Jesus introduces the six string guitar to his followers. Instantly he becomes bigger than The Beatles.

  • Judas Priest Unplugged.

  • Frankly

    I DON’T CARE IF IT RAINS OR FREEZES
    ‘LONG AS I GOTS MY PLASTIC JESUS
    RIDIN ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR

    I DON’T CARE IF ITS DARK N SCARY
    ‘LONG AS I GOTS MAGNETIC MARY
    RIDIN ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR

  • Mike K

    Unfortunately, Father Brown and the other Priests weren’t happy about this new discovery.

  • “‘c’mon everybody—“and the cat and the cradle, and the silver spoon…”

  • alo

    “Well there once were two cowboys all alone on the trail.
    And they discovered that they could sleep with another male.
    Started having gaysex, cowboy gaysex..”

  • cram

    Let me show you how to play the G sus chord.

  • Joey Chickenskin

    Went to a party
    I danced all night
    I drank 16 beers
    And I started up a fight

    But now I am jaded
    You’re out of luck
    I’m rolling down the stairs
    Too drunk to fuck

    Too drunk to fuck
    Too drunk to fuck
    Too drunk, to fuck
    I’m too drunk, too drunk, too drunk
    To fuck

  • mojomoto

    I am just all right with me,
    I am just all right with me,
    I am just all right with me,
    I am just all right….

  • mojomoto

    Me, I know it ain’t easy, I know how hard it can be.
    The way things are going, They’re gonna crucify me…
    again.