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  1. “On this very night, three days ago, along this very stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst crucifixion I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building… And when they pulled the man’s body from the cross. It looked like this!”

  2. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that egg salad sandwich at that roadside diner, or maybe it was all that acid I did back in the day, but after 72 straight hours on the road, the hallucinations kicked in.

  3. “East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
    a’Jesus’ gonna do what they say can’t be done
    He’s got a long way to go and a short time to get there
    He’s east bound just watch ol’Jesus run”

  4. “…and I drove as fast as I could from there and didn’t stop until I got back into town. But when I got out of the truck, there was a nail stuck in the door handle!

  5. “…but when I drove back the next day to return his shroud, an old lady answered the door and told me he’d been dead for two thousand years!

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