1. While herding sheep through Wyoming Jesus and Satan shared an embrace where Jesus boldly admits ,”I wish I knew how to quit you…”

  2. Jesus won, but having pinned Satan’s hand to the table, it required three Roman soldiers to pry their hands apart.

  3. Even Armageddon wasn’t spared the budget cutbacks. They almost had to make it a thumb war, but OSHA decided to stay out of this one.

  4. And of course I’ve been refreshing constantly waiting for the end of the world. What else would you have me do to kill time?

  5. “Blood brothers forever.”
    “Forever, good buddy. Don’t tell my parents, though. I’m not supposed to hang out with you any more.”

    1. That thumbs down was mine, BTW. The result of reading the comments on my iPhone and then trying to hit a tiny little green dot that’s immediately next to a tiny little red dot. I know, I could have just zoomed in, but that takes like half a second, and who the hell has time for that?

  6. …and Jesus took Satan’s hand in his and said, “listen, I can give you a name of a great dermatologist who can help you with that skin thing.”

    1. Really? That’s what you see here? Listen, I’m not really qualified to treat your psychological issues, but I would strongly recommend seeing a psychologist.

  7. Jesus said: “Dude, grip onto my hand while I check out that infected molar of yours. You can squeeze when it hurts.”
    Dude: Yes I will but can you look at my keratosis too?

  8. Jesus: “Well, no wonder you’re too hot, fool, just look at your skin! You have the damned thermostat set too high. Hey, grab a hold, I’ll help pull you out of there. Jeeesh!

  9. Jesus: [with a cliff in front of them and cops behind them]
    Jesus: OK, then listen; let’s not get caught.
    Satan: What’re you talkin’ about?
    Jesus: Let’s keep goin’!
    Satan: What d’you mean?
    Jesus: …Go.
    Jesus: [Jesus nods ahead of them]
    Satan: You sure?
    Jesus: Yeah.

  10. “So I get Pat Buchanan and you get Christopher Hitchens” one of them said.
    You take “Ron Paul and I’ll take Michele Bachmann” said the other (or was it the same guy? Their voices are eerily similar) .
    “Palin?” A nod of the head showed that she was a foregone conclusion.

    They spat on their hands and sealed the deal.

    Neither commented on the steam that started to hiss out of the hole in the back of Jesus’s hand.

  11. Jesus and Satan were so engrossed in their arm wrestling that they failed to see that Frodo had succeded in his mission to destroy the Ring in Mt. Doom.

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