1. “So, Jesus, does the tiger do me while I do the chick, or do the tiger and me do the chick together, or….wait, are you involved in this, or do you just like to watch?”

  2. This amazon woman killed your other pet tiger while you were away.

    I hope this doesn’t affect your sexuality in any way, Siegfried.

  3. “Listen, I’m telling you this chick is up for anything– anything and everything. And who’s gonna know? I don’t touch you at all. You don’t touch me… you know… unless you wanna. “

  4. “Look, Senator Brown, you can’t just bring your wife to the zoo and go all Cosmopolitan. The tiger is gonna get sick. The giraffe, too.”

  5. “And what am I bid for this Showcase Showdown, Adam? An all expense paid trip to Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe. A two-day safari package where you can get up close and personal with the animals of the Serengeti. (Don’t ask what a tiger is doing in Africa, though.) And, a night on the town with Anne Hathaway. All this can be yours if… the Price is Right!”

  6. Jesus: Adam, I said go get some pussy. But no, not an actual animal.
    *sigh* Dad! You should have made them a bit smarter!
    God: Nope, don’t want them to outsmart me.

  7. “Let’s see, how can I put this delicately… Eve here prefers circumcised guys. So you might want to find a really, really sharp stone and… um…”

  8. Ok, you got me. I didn’t need the rib to make her, but this tiger if we keep making this tiger eat plants, he’s gonna tear all our faces off.

  9. Look, she’s not that bad. Yes, we can use a turkey baster if we must but frankly my arse is run ragged and I could use a little healing time…

  10. By the way, Chris, couldn’t you supply a purchase link with these? I’d seriously buy one or two if they weren’t too dear. They’re absolutely perfect.

  11. Hey, eyes up here, Funboy. And get that smirk off your face.. look at her – you can’t tell when a woman’s had just about enough of your shit?

  12. Good thing I made you that Bowflex a few months ago & gave you the desire to look like an 80s Wall Street trader. Eve here doesn’t do chunky hippies.

  13. JC: “Like I told you, Adam, there is more than one type of pussy. But if you f*ck either of them, you’ll get thrown outta here, so keep it clean, hey?”

  14. “Oh, hey Adam, what’s up? That’s cool, yeah, this whole garden is pretty sweet right? Totally stress-free, do what you want when you want, uncomplicated, simple happiness you say? Well, you haven’t even said thanks once, so, meet Eve…..”

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