Before he created Godzilla, Tomoyuki Tanaka’s first idea was to have a 510 foot tall Jesus that was created by underground atomic tests.
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“Knock knock. You guys? Can I come in, please? I swear I won’t mess anything up, just let me into your world government thing. Please?”
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“Hm. I really should have specified a few measurements on the blueprints.”
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“Hey! I can see what you’re doing in there! At least get some curtains.”
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JESUS SMASH!!!
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Candygram for Mongo!
Candygram for Mongo!
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Why am I not invited? I can see the Spaghetti Monster, Buda, Zeus, and the others sitting there. Come on!! I promise I won’t get as drunk as last time.
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Yeah, Hi – I represent “Praiseland” – Me and my 12 giant deciples would like to be a sovereign state.
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A mullet-wearing ghost of Abe Lincoln comes back to curse the 1% for their evil deeds.
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“Feed me! I promise to not fill your lawn with my starving friends by morning”
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“Hey you two in there, cut that out! God and everyone can see you!”
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The thrilling sequel to ‘Attack of the 50 Foot Woman’: Attack of the 50 Foot Jesus
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Hello guys, I come as a Witness of myself.
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“Have you heard the good news?”
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“Psst! The good news is that I’m going to eat you.”
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To stop those monsters 1-2-3,
Here’s a fresh new way that’s trouble-free,
It’s got Paul Anka’s guarantee…
Just don’t look! Just don’t look!
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“Hey, hurry up in there. I gotta piss like a fucking racehorse… Shit, I’m just gonna piss in the East River.”
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Dad damn vending machines broken again!
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“Hello. Cheesus Pizza Delivery. I got your extra-large sausage and pineapple.”
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“If you build it;
He will come”
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“……and knock it down.”
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“I fear you have misunderstood me.
My people breed WARRIORS, gentlemen, warriors to fight for us across the galaxy. You’re pirmitive savagery is an issue here but it has not bred true.
You fight erratically and clumsily. You’re weapons are shockingly crude and what’s worst…you long for peace. But I thank you for a most amusing day. You people have a delightful sense of the absurd. As your fine Earth actor Edwin Wynn once said, ‘Dying is easy; comedy is hard.'”
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I know you’re in there–don’t make me have to get all Godzilla on your ass.
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Jesus meets Deep Thought.
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Knock knock! Hi, we really need to talk about this bid for a Palestinian state…
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This is going to go over a lot of people’s heads:
Oh my darlin’
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Mmmm twice on the pipe if the answer is no
Oh my sweetness
Means you’ll meet me in the hallway
Oh twice on the pipe means you ain’t gonna show.
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yeah, thanks for planting that ear worm! 😉
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Somebody had to do it. 😉 Back when I was actually on a real radio station I’d do that sort of stuff all the time. I can’t tell you how many complaints we got when I played the song “Yummy, Yummy, Yummy” by Ohio Express. At 2:45 a.m… NOT the song you want in your head. 😉
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Attach of the 60 foot Jesus.
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“I’m here to overide America’s veto on the Palestinian issue. Sorry about those Teabaggers I accidentally stepped on on the way over here. Anybody got a stick? They stink, and I need to scrape them off my sandals.”
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Why do I keep hearing the music from “2001 A Space Odyssey”?
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To defend themselves from the giant Jesus attacking them, the UN council quickly voted to post sanctions against him.
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I can take care of that window stain if ya want. Twenty bucks.
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Hello? I need validation for my car. Very hard to find parking here.
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“Because Jesus was on the no fly list, he decided to just knock it down with his own two hands.”
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Sim City 4000
Select disaster:
1) Godzilla
2) Jesuszilla
3) Holy Ghostzilla
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Oh come on. Those are all the same monster. What are you, a polymonsterist?
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I don’t understand the holy trinity:
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Alms…Spare some change?..Would you believe I ran out of gas a couple of blocks from here?
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The son of Godzilla…
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Dad told me to lick my finger and stick it on this window. Why didn’t he warn me what happens on a 26 degree day!
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Jesus is bigger than Jesus!
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“Playing with model buildings makes me feel like a god.”
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Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Land shark
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Hi un ! I’m home!
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You take a block from the bottom and you put it on top
You take a block from the middle and you put it on top
That’s how you build the tower you just don’t stop
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Nobody ever told me about the secret level in Rampage.
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Ah crap, the Doritos bag is stuck again.
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What is this? A United Nations for ants?? In needs to be at least twice this size!
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It’s full of stars!
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What is this, a UN for ants?!?!?! The UN needs to be at least three times this size.
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Creationists release their adaptation of Stanley Kubricks “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
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This new cabinet from Ikea is going to be GREAT!
It has plenty of room for all my toy cars and people and at night it is going to look so cool with that color-changing light behind all of them.
Before he created Godzilla, Tomoyuki Tanaka’s first idea was to have a 510 foot tall Jesus that was created by underground atomic tests.
“Knock knock. You guys? Can I come in, please? I swear I won’t mess anything up, just let me into your world government thing. Please?”
“Hm. I really should have specified a few measurements on the blueprints.”
“Hey! I can see what you’re doing in there! At least get some curtains.”
JESUS SMASH!!!
Candygram for Mongo!
Candygram for Mongo!
Why am I not invited? I can see the Spaghetti Monster, Buda, Zeus, and the others sitting there. Come on!! I promise I won’t get as drunk as last time.
Yeah, Hi – I represent “Praiseland” – Me and my 12 giant deciples would like to be a sovereign state.
A mullet-wearing ghost of Abe Lincoln comes back to curse the 1% for their evil deeds.
“Feed me! I promise to not fill your lawn with my starving friends by morning”
“Hey you two in there, cut that out! God and everyone can see you!”
The thrilling sequel to ‘Attack of the 50 Foot Woman’: Attack of the 50 Foot Jesus
Hello guys, I come as a Witness of myself.
“Have you heard the good news?”
“Psst! The good news is that I’m going to eat you.”
To stop those monsters 1-2-3,
Here’s a fresh new way that’s trouble-free,
It’s got Paul Anka’s guarantee…
Just don’t look! Just don’t look!
“Hey, hurry up in there. I gotta piss like a fucking racehorse… Shit, I’m just gonna piss in the East River.”
Dad damn vending machines broken again!
“Hello. Cheesus Pizza Delivery. I got your extra-large sausage and pineapple.”
“If you build it;
He will come”
“……and knock it down.”
“I fear you have misunderstood me.
My people breed WARRIORS, gentlemen, warriors to fight for us across the galaxy. You’re pirmitive savagery is an issue here but it has not bred true.
You fight erratically and clumsily. You’re weapons are shockingly crude and what’s worst…you long for peace. But I thank you for a most amusing day. You people have a delightful sense of the absurd. As your fine Earth actor Edwin Wynn once said, ‘Dying is easy; comedy is hard.'”
I know you’re in there–don’t make me have to get all Godzilla on your ass.
Jesus meets Deep Thought.
Knock knock! Hi, we really need to talk about this bid for a Palestinian state…
This is going to go over a lot of people’s heads:
Oh my darlin’
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Mmmm twice on the pipe if the answer is no
Oh my sweetness
Means you’ll meet me in the hallway
Oh twice on the pipe means you ain’t gonna show.
yeah, thanks for planting that ear worm! 😉
Somebody had to do it. 😉 Back when I was actually on a real radio station I’d do that sort of stuff all the time. I can’t tell you how many complaints we got when I played the song “Yummy, Yummy, Yummy” by Ohio Express. At 2:45 a.m… NOT the song you want in your head. 😉
Attach of the 60 foot Jesus.
“I’m here to overide America’s veto on the Palestinian issue. Sorry about those Teabaggers I accidentally stepped on on the way over here. Anybody got a stick? They stink, and I need to scrape them off my sandals.”
Why do I keep hearing the music from “2001 A Space Odyssey”?
To defend themselves from the giant Jesus attacking them, the UN council quickly voted to post sanctions against him.
I can take care of that window stain if ya want. Twenty bucks.
Hello? I need validation for my car. Very hard to find parking here.
“Because Jesus was on the no fly list, he decided to just knock it down with his own two hands.”
Sim City 4000
Select disaster:
1) Godzilla
2) Jesuszilla
3) Holy Ghostzilla
Oh come on. Those are all the same monster. What are you, a polymonsterist?
I don’t understand the holy trinity:
Alms…Spare some change?..Would you believe I ran out of gas a couple of blocks from here?
The son of Godzilla…
Dad told me to lick my finger and stick it on this window. Why didn’t he warn me what happens on a 26 degree day!
Jesus is bigger than Jesus!
“Playing with model buildings makes me feel like a god.”
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Land shark
Hi un ! I’m home!
You take a block from the bottom and you put it on top
You take a block from the middle and you put it on top
That’s how you build the tower you just don’t stop
Nobody ever told me about the secret level in Rampage.
Ah crap, the Doritos bag is stuck again.
What is this? A United Nations for ants?? In needs to be at least twice this size!
It’s full of stars!
What is this, a UN for ants?!?!?! The UN needs to be at least three times this size.
Creationists release their adaptation of Stanley Kubricks “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
This new cabinet from Ikea is going to be GREAT!
It has plenty of room for all my toy cars and people and at night it is going to look so cool with that color-changing light behind all of them.
Magic wand, make my savior GROW!!!