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      1. Also:
        “Thanks for agreeing to meet me here. I live with my folks, and my dad’s not too keen on my… um, lifestyle. And mom, well, let’s just say mom doesn’t understand that men have needs.”

  1. The Baby Bear’s penchant for bringing home stray humans was a major point of contention with Mama and Papa Bear, but at least they’d never run out of fish!

  2. Robe: $40.00, over the shoulder sweater $25.00, being able to take a walk with a bear anytime you want because you’re Jesus fucking Christ – priceless.

  3. There was a long silence after their discussion. The bear was not convinced of the plan, but Jesus assured him that the Charmin commercials would be good for public relations.
    “I brought you a whole sack of free toilet paper they sent you as part of the promotion,” Jesus said.
    “What the fuck am I going to do with that?” asked the bear.

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