Man Attempts to Put Out House Fire By Shooting It

SECOND AMENDMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

NORTH KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Stephen Forthman shoots first and asks questions later. He wears a shirt proudly displaying the words “I don’t dial 911” next to a picture of a hand gripping a sixshooter. When it comes time to contact local emergency services for assistance, he’d rather just shoot at the problem until it goes away — even when the problem is his own home being on fire.

No injuries were reported in a large structural house fire in North Knoxville at Forthman’s residence on Whittle Springs Road yesterday.

Knoxville firefighters were alerted by neighbors at 2:15 p.m. of smoke at the residence, according to Knoxville Fire Department spokesman Capt.

John Nickleton. The Knoxville Fire Department responded to an initial report of heavy smoke coming from the garage, and of a large bearded man in the front yard screaming and shooting into the house.

(Thanks PVC)

9 Comments

  1. The last paragraph of this article is the best: “This isn’t the first time Forthman has refused to dial 911. In 2004, Forthman tried to shoot himself in the torso after having chest pains. His brother-in-law wrestled a rifle away from Forthman and called an ambulance.”

    Dang it, heart! Stop hurting, or I’ll shoot you!

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