1. I’m taking those speed pills of yours, and I’m wearing the vibrating heat beads, and by “Riding your Snake”, not only have I lost 65 pounds in four days, but guess what? I found out I’m the Devil! And I will wash over the Earth, and the seas will run red with all the blood of all its sinners! I am reborn! And I’ve got YOU to thank, Jesus!

  2. It must be difficult for Jesus and his conjoined brother to play cards when they are stuck together like that, let alone after doing every drug known to man in one sitting.

  3. Captions:
    “Jesus lends a hand”
    “Jesus disarms a junkie”
    “The white horse of the Apocalypse”
    “Friends don’t let friends use drugs, drink alcohol, own guns, practice Santeria, or eat spaghetti without a fork.”

  4. [not a caption] Can somebody explain what the skull is about? Does Jesus need a little bump to get him through a marathon Hamlet rehearsal?

  5. Even though they all agreed that Terry’s was the best Halloween costume that year, the rest of the party couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable around the life-sized Jesus on his back constantly being injected with heroine.

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