1. It’s prudent to look and investigate, when you have doubts, also bring witnesses.


    Hold on to your purse when dealing with holy men.

    Caravaggio / Incredulity of Saint Thomas. 1602 (Oil on canvas)

  2. I love that painting. Ever hear of a “doubting Thomas”. It’s The Incredulity of Saint Thomas and the caption should probably read something like:

    ” Everybody was all like ‘you gotta check this out’ and I was all like ‘No way,’ but now I’m all fuckin trippin out like ” Damn, dude. That shit’s for fuckin real, bro!”

  3. Lo, spoke Jesus: “I need to be crucified like I need a second asshole!”

    The Lord’s voice boomed from the heavens “It is done!”

    “But wait,” Jesus replied, “I didn’t say where”

    Then Jesus’ disciples said “WTF dude?”

    I’m pretty good at this. Maybe I should write another bible…

  4. “Got tired of getting my wallet lifted, so I went to Chibi and got my wallet implanted right into my side! OK, the chick at the register in Starbucks looks a little green when I pay for my latte, but them damn pickpockets haven’t been able to touch me since!”

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