And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king’s enemies.–1 Samuel 18:25
* With a hat tip to Saywhatneedsaying – sorry, I didn’t read yours before posting (BTW, I’m sure SuperJesus would be ashamed of me for posting something as deferential as this).
After an unfortunate event with Jesus’ little known younger brother Rambosus, Pontius Pilate realized that awarding cross contracts to lowest bidder might not have been such a good idea.
No doubt. But if the modern Prince of Peace wants to go full-douchebag, why stop with oiled pecs and manscaping? Where’s the hair shellac, Chinese-symbol tats, and ear grommets?
Comments
46 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.JESUS SMASH!!!!!!
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Jebus is here… to… {Clap}… PUMP YOU UP! {Clap}.
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“With my patented Cross Training ™ program, you’ll see results like these in as little as five weeks!”
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- minor change: “IN AS LITTLE AS THREE DAYS!”
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Good call!
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President-Elect Perry’s new national flag circa January 2013.
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“BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!!!”
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Don’t do drugs kids. Look what steroids did to Jesus!
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This Christmas Arnold Swarzenegger in his greatest role: the King of Kings
And he’s back for a with a vengeance!
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Son, I told you to stop using steroids! You’re screwing with biblical history right now… Now be a good boy and just die!
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I’m the man your man could smell like…look, I’m on a cross.
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Screw you guys! I’m going home!
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I HAVE THE POWERRR!! – to do anything in the world yet here I’m nailed to two pieces of wood.
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HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
-hacksaw jesus duggan
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A moment later he’ll be wishing he pulled his feet loose from that spike before breaking his hands loose.
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And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king’s enemies.–1 Samuel 18:25
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“Who you callin’ meek, mutha fucka?”
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“Jesus is the rock”
“Can you smellll what the Rock is cookin?”
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Me die for these a-holes? You’re out of your f**king mind!!!! I’m outta here……………..
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Who built this cross?
My “dad” could have done a better job.
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If you think Jesusteroid is impressive, you should have seen the guys that nailed him up there!
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Die for your own sins, SUCKERS!!!
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* With a hat tip to Saywhatneedsaying – sorry, I didn’t read yours before posting (BTW, I’m sure SuperJesus would be ashamed of me for posting something as deferential as this).
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After an unfortunate event with Jesus’ little known younger brother Rambosus, Pontius Pilate realized that awarding cross contracts to lowest bidder might not have been such a good idea.
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screw your sins, i’m going home
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Nailed it.
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Spartans, Tonight we dine, in Heaven!!
also
I thirst … revenge!
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This tells us everything we need to know about our Christians:
They have rejected the peace-preaching bronze-age Jew from Palestine for an enraged European homoerotic (but closeted) fantasy.
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No doubt. But if the modern Prince of Peace wants to go full-douchebag, why stop with oiled pecs and manscaping? Where’s the hair shellac, Chinese-symbol tats, and ear grommets?
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Don’t forget the D-bag uniform: an Ed Hardy -or- “Affliction” t-shirt!
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Does an image like this really need a caption?
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Jesus wept (when he saw how fantatically ripped he was).
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He made the ultimate sacrifice–testicles the size of raisins.
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I.N.R.AAAAAAAAARGH
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Spray a little bit more oil on Jesus.
Great. Now that’s perfect.
OK, quiet on the set. And…. Action!
*Y.M.C.A.*
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He refers to his abs as ‘The Salvation’, what a tool.
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“Can’t spell rapture without rape!”
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Whatchyoo gonna do about it, Je-HO-vah? Huh, Mighty of Mighties? This crackuh didn’t come to play!
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“And I say unto you this day, you will join me in the kingdom of pain!”
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JESUS SMAAAASSSHH!!!!
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“I’ll be back”
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BY THE POWER OF ME, I COMPEL MYSELF!
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“Srry guys, afc (away from cross), brb in 3 dayz, bye”
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Jeeeze!!
Thats a bad case of “Roid Rage” !
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“Wooo, feel the burn!” (kind of like charlie sheen said it in two and a half men)
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Ill…be…back
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