1. And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king’s enemies.–1 Samuel 18:25

    1. * With a hat tip to Saywhatneedsaying – sorry, I didn’t read yours before posting (BTW, I’m sure SuperJesus would be ashamed of me for posting something as deferential as this).

  2. After an unfortunate event with Jesus’ little known younger brother Rambosus, Pontius Pilate realized that awarding cross contracts to lowest bidder might not have been such a good idea.

  3. This tells us everything we need to know about our Christians:

    They have rejected the peace-preaching bronze-age Jew from Palestine for an enraged European homoerotic (but closeted) fantasy.

    1. No doubt. But if the modern Prince of Peace wants to go full-douchebag, why stop with oiled pecs and manscaping? Where’s the hair shellac, Chinese-symbol tats, and ear grommets?

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