58 Comments

  1. Ugh….pull up a chair.

    People who seem to feel constantly “entitled”. Bad grammar. Bad manners. “That guy” in every class I’ve ever taken in college (the loud, look-at-me-I’m-so-funny-and-I-always-have-something-to-say-about-everything guy (or gal)). When commercials are ten times louder than the show. Asshole drivers – we’ve all got places to be. Bible thumpers. People who say “fustrated” or “pecific” or “libary”, etc. and those who type “prolly”. My mother. Cat-haters. Republicans (in general – I’m sure some are okay – although I haven’t met one yet). People who leave TL;DR-type comments on other peoples’ blogs. 😉

      1. Um….I was mocking myself there. Kinda got on a rant and was worried it was getting a bit lengthy (“TL;DR” directed at what I had just typed). Just poking a bit of fun at my own long-windedness. Not sure what else you thought I could be referring to. Sorry.

  2. 1. Texting while driving
    2. Lazy unthinking partisanship
    3. People who are proud of their ignorance
    4. 99% of reality TV
    5. People who are famous for no apparent reason/talent or skill
    6. People who make lists

    1. I like your wordage better – “Lazy, unthinking partisanship.” B/c honestly it’s that part of the republicans I know that pisses me off the most. That and their believing in fairy tales.

      1. Dems who always vote for corporate tools are no better. Partisan battles just pit one little guy against the other. Neither Dems or Repubs ever get the gov’t they are looking for. While everyone bickers, all the wealth gets split between the top 1% and China.

    1. That’s just not true that the company doesn’t care if you die. Do you know how much work it takes to put up a job posting and do interviews to fill a vacant position?

  3. Safety in Numbers / Herd mentality.
    The need to sit or park right next to someone with total disregard to personal space of others.

    Bad breath / Shit sandwich eaters
    Makes me want to pelt them with Tic Tacs from a slingshot

    1. I had an old room mate that would fill up the big 2 liter bottles and was always accidentally knocking them over on the carpet. It was wintergreen, and could never get the smell out of the rugs 🙁

  4. my wife wanting equalty for women and men, but insisting that she get special treatment because she is a woman.

  5. 1. People who say “Vomicking”
    2. People who use the emergency room for trivial things such as paper cuts/mosquito bites
    3. “Holier than thou” attitudes from anyone. Republicans, bible thumpers, Vegans…
    4. Mayonnaise
    5. People who do not care for their animals

    I’m sure there’s more, but I’ve been off work for 6 days and I’m feeling charitable.

  6. feeling helpless because the police are useless, slumlords who fight rent regulation laws, my yearly wallet raping from the MTA, working long hours without overtime, uppity creative people who ignore non-famous people, wasting calorie intake on food that turns out to suck.

  7. – People with perfectly sound bodies who park in handicapped spaces.
    – People who say “NewQueLer.”
    – People who think they’re so indispensable that they can’t unstaple their cell phones from their ears long enough to notice what’s going on in the environment around them, especially when they’re driving.
    – People who will harass a minimum-wage library worker over a fifty-cent overdue fine, then drive home from the library in their BMW.
    – Mayonnaise on french fries.

  8. 1. Pack rats and other rodents that strip every bit of vegetation out of my yard and garden.

    2. Fox News blaring in public waiting rooms.

    3. Female friends on Facebook who post pictures of their spouses without shirts on, labeled “hawt”. Not, he isn’t and now I don’t want lunch any more.

    4. Drivers I call “the righteous left”- those who signal over to the fast lane, then drive primly and properly 5 miles below the speed limit holding the rest of us back.

  9. When I kindly hold the door open for people and they walk through it as if I’m either air or a doorstop. I don’t look like a doorstop. I’m not triangular enough.

  10. 1) Douchebags who blast their music with no regard for other people (in cars, in an apartment building or in the park). I hate having to ask my neighbor to turn the bass on his music down when I’m home because it makes me feel like a cranky old man.

    2) Rude people who inadvertently put me in a situation where I have to endure their rudeness or ask them to stop, thus feeling like the aforementioned cranky old man.

    1. I feel like I’m being a cranky old man when i get totally pissed at someone letting their dog pee on my grass when they’d never let their dog pee on their own grass (and I don’t let my own dog pee on my grass). I pity the next person I catch. I have some nice grass.

      Also: been flying a lot this week, and I can’t stand when 1) folks don’t follow the front-to-back order of unlaoding and 2) when someone isn’t ready to get up and go when it’s their turn and they take forever to gather their things as all of us watch and wait.

  11. I agree with almost all of the above comments.

    **RANT*** Today my parents annoy the fuck out of me. They are both hurtful unreliable irresponsible alcoholic SELFISH entitled drug-addict lying manipulative pieces of shit and I wish I could rid my life of them. I have no idea how I turned out to be a semi-normal, decent human being.***End rant***

    just had to get it off my chest somewhere. Thanks for asking this question today

  12. 1. People who say that this is a christian nation when as far as I can tell our secularism is one of the things that made us #1.

    2. When I do something annoying and don’t acknowledge of apologize for it.

  13. People that can’t answer the question I’m asking…
    I’ve had this conversation at work too many times. I need to use the computer when this guy is through:
    “How soon until the computer’s open?”
    “Not long.”
    “Is it going to be a while, or…”
    I’m just about finished.”
    “I know, but when should I come back to use it?”
    “I only have about half a page left.” (I don’t know what this guy’s working on)
    “OK, how long do you think that will take you?
    “I only have … six entries left” (I still don’t know what this guy’s working on)
    “So are we talking 3 minutes? Five? Ten minutes?”
    “It’s just about wrapped up.”
    “Do I have time to work on something else, or should I just wait here?”
    “I’m almost done.”
    And so it continues like that.

    Also, the ones that can’t just give a yes or no answer. They have to tell their life story leading up to the answer to my question. If you ask what time it is, they tell you how to build a clock.

  14. The Nanny-State.

    The TSA.

    My boss asking for something in Memo Format, then later asking me to summarize what the memo was about in a ‘quick email.’

    Televisions in waiting rooms or lobbies.

    People who shop by cell phone.. “‘no, honey, they only have the blue can….. no, I don’t see a green can….. no yellow can either….. can I get the blue can?” Just take a freaking picture of the product and email it to him!

    And mayonnaise.

  15. Most of the above. People who call themselves Christian and act just the opposite of the way their saviour said people should act. Ignorant people who never try to think–they lap up tirades from the likes of Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, et al. and take every word as gospel truth-regardless of the facts. And people who pull out in front of me so dangerously that I have to slam on my brakes, and then drive 15 miles under the speed limit.

  16. 1,Christians that openly talk about Christianity and Jesus
    2.Combative Atheists that openly talk about how stupid religion is. Though I agree,I also know to respect other peoples beliefs/

  17. 1. Cellophane -it’s too strong and CDS WON’T GO ROTTEN WITHOUT IT!

    2.Cables – Why didn’t an anal retentive invent our dominant form of power – they would have rejected electricity as too messy and cables as too eager to tangle all of the time!

    3. Gravity. I have a messy house, everything in it wants to make it’s way to the floor to be stood on, the more expensive a thing, the more it wants it.

    4. Grammar/syntax fetishists. I have a ‘more of a dick equation where you are more of a dick if you bypass each of the following to concentrate on the next: Message:Form:Syntax. If someone wites 120 words that you CAN figure out with a little thought and your reply is about their punctuation…WE NO LONGER NEED YOU.

    5. The eagarly offended. If you are asking the quedtion ‘Don’t you think that’s a bit racist?’ and can’t explain why, you’re not contributing to the on-going movement towards equal civil rights but trivialising it.

    6. Call Centre design. The law should be i) Every single website that sells anything should have a local-rate telephone number on it. ii) The first range of options for any call set-up should include speaking to someone. I don’t care about your time any more then you value mine and I’m the customer!

  18. People who think I’m psychic. When I pick up the phone and you immediately start telling me that your doctor prescribed a drug for you and he said he would “e-fax” it over and you’re afraid it might interact with your diet pills that don’t work and you want the blue ones not the red ones and a non-safety cap and your dog just puked on the floor and you’re wondering if your medicine is ready. Or when you walk up to my counter and tell me you want to pick up your medications. Hello? WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR NAME? I assure you, I am not psychic and you are defiantly not important enough for me to know your name. The first thing you do when you call ANYWHERE is identify yourself.

    Also people that treat me like dog shit because someone else didn’t do what they were supposed to do or because your insurance sucks and wont cover your skin bleaching cream THEN say “God bless you” as they walk away or are wearing some sort of Jesus related paraphernalia during their rant. I can’t even….

  19. Right now, my step-grandmother. Very sweet person, very southern, very well-meaning– but she’s kind of obsessed with me in a way that’s less flattering-grandmother-y and more creepy-woman-thinks-I-have-no-ego. She’s always complimenting me and telling me how I’m better than my sister and I’m just like, man, I have a healthy ego, thank you, I don’t need to be fawned over and reassured that I have talent. She just kind of skeezes me out (yes, that’s not a word, deal with it).

  20. Christians who go on about Jesus and God and all that cliche BS. I’m perfectly fine with Christians who don’t feel the need to tell everyone about their faith and how awesome Jesus is for helping them pass that test, when they should realize that it’s entirely their own ability. Then I get annoyed that I can’t start a rant because I’ll just look like an asshole.

    Drivers speeding past me on the street, thinking they’re so cool

    4chan

    Random idiots on the internet besides 4chan

  21. People relating very personal experiences in the second person. “The plane went into a nose dive and you just felt so scared. The guy in the next seat started praying out loud.”

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