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  1. Gidget the cat is terrified of plastic bags, but that’s because we would shake them when she was a kitten if she was misbehaving.

    She’s also terrified of the cat carrier (which she hasn’t been in since sometime in 2002). If she sees it, or when she saw us put the other cat in it in his last days last autumn, she runs and hides under a bed for hours upon end. Fireworks will do that to her, too.

  2. What??!?? Cynikitty doesn’t like boxes!?!?!?!? That’s it, he needs to turn in his cat card. C’mon, hand it over….. 😉

  3. Sparks (cat) will suddenly get this crazy look in her eye and start doing laps around the living room, sporadically bolting in and out of rooms. She mews on command if you look at her and say her name. Or she’ll lick whatever body part (leg/foot/hand/elbow/shoulder) is closest to her face for attention. She’ll also run in tight circles if I drape a string around her tail that she can’t get off.

  4. My last cat was terrified of plastic bags thanks to an incident while under the care of my parents (they had her for a couple years while I was at sea), plastic shopping bag got caught on her tail, she ripped all around the house with this thing chasing her. My dad found the bag ripped and wet and the cat wet as well.
    Current cat loves bags, boxes and any cat sized container. Has no irrational fears but will fuzz up randomly and hop/charge at us randomly.

  5. While fearless in all other respects, Indigo (schnauzer) will flee to the closet and attempt to dig to safety if she hears someone smacking/popping their gum.

  6. My German Shepherd, Keiko, always attacks the vacuum cleaner while I’m vacuuming. I don’t think she’s afraid of it, but she somehow thinks it’s a game we’re playing together. She gets all dejected when I yell at her to stop.

    1. My cat, Moe, also licks the crap outta anything plastic. We even caught him trying to eat the silicone out of the front door one time (we were doing a repair to it). He also eats – not chews, but consumes – rubber bands. As many as he can get his fuzzy little paws on. We have to keep them on lock down.

  7. My cat (Housey) will not let me pick it up without trying to scratch and claw its way out of my arms to ride on my shoulders, while my wife can scoop him up and carry him around without any protest.

  8. Funny you should ask. About two months ago my oldest cat started peeing on my bed. The first time he did it I had him checked at the vet for stones, UI, etc. – everything came up clean, so it must be emotional/mental because he only (“only!”) does it about once a week or so.

    Here’s what is probably the reason: Up until January I only had him, another old one, and a very playful young one. I got another young one so mine would have a playmate. They’re now great friends, but when the new one tries to play with the old one he perceives it as aggression and becomes a crotchety old man to the others (hissing and such). To add to that, the other old one died in March. I figure it’s either (or both) the loss of his peer or the new cat that’s making him go all Sybyl on the other two. Just today I bought a Fel-away plug-in that releases calming pheromones to mellow them out. I hope it works,

    And in case you’re wondering where I’m sleeping, last week I bought a new bed as well as all new sheets and comforter. This time I also bought a waterproof bedliner It’s a good thing because within 12 hours of setting everything up he peed on that too.

  9. ” Man Of Action”- our Siamese, is scared by that feline arch nemesis, the vacuum cleaner. Also by people flapping their hands and exclaiming “Pork chop sandwiches! Get the F out!” Say that and he’s good as gone under the bed for the rest of the day.

    We have adopted other animals with loose screws. The horse goes bananas only when it sees mules pulling a wagon. He acts like Satan himself is in the driver’s seat and the whole ensemble is going straight to hell. Good times riding that one out.

    1. How strange! I shriek “Pork Chop Sammiches! G on any givet the F out” nearly every single day… granted there’s no reason for it, I just like the sound of it, I suppose. 😉

  10. My dog Adrian goes ballistic when I bust out the broom, he will bark at it, try to bite it and proceed to do laps around the house, up and down the stairs. He also goes crazy when there flies in the house. Both of these scenarios are highly entertaining to me.

  11. Apparently we can’t have any shred of carpeting in the house. Gromit will find corners and pick at it and eat it down to the floor boards, regardless of the fact that he has THREE carpet covered cat trees in the house should he wish to dine. Oh no, he needs to pick at our stair carpeting, our living room/entry way carpeting, and our master bedroom/bathroom carpeting. We’ve lined all these areas with tape, but he just pulls that up and eats more carpeting. I love the little the shiznit, but his carpet-eating ways drive me bananas.

    1. My cat has started doing this as well. Finds the ‘strings’ and starts chewing chewing chewing (it’s the most annoying sound) and then he scratches at the edge and the cheap carpet starts to disintegrate into little pieces. Ticks me off so I sprayed some “No Chew” (bitters) on it and, so far, no more chewing. I’m not going to say I’ve won the battle yet, but I think I’m slightly ahead of him……

  12. When we moved 6 years ago all I lived with was a wife & 2 kids.
    I now have 3 cats (Libby, Lexy and Lilly) that wont let me pick them up or pet them. (And I consider myself a cat person). 2 hermit crabs, a baby bunny my daughter rescued after its mother was hit by a car last week and a 3 legged psychotic dog my wife brought home from a rescue shelter. The dog hates anybody who does not live in our house. But will only try to bite them after they’ve turned their back to it and is afraid of everything on planet earth.
    Never a dull moment!

  13. My weenie dog, Sampson likes to chew on rocks and bricks. He gets really pissed at them and barks and digs at them in the yard then he picks them up and carries them around with him and chews on them. Needless to say, he has no teeth because he has filed them down to the gums. The vet says its an OCD thing. Our neighbor saw him doing it in the yard and thought we were infested with ground moles. Our other dog, Rusty (irish setter) thinks the rocks are treats or some other special morsel and swallows/eats them, then pukes them back up later. Retarded dogs to say the least

  14. Ready for this? I have six pets. :I
    Copper the poodle is crazy because he will walk to me and start licking my leg. He’s also very scared of the bowls we give him when we’re done with our ice cream. He backs away and looks at us like What, are you trying to poison me?? Barclay the poodle just… isn’t very bright. At all. He’s also very scared of men. He hunts moles. Delaney the cat isn’t very crazy, but she likes hunting small things and giving them to us. Renaissance the cat is fat (like five pounds heavier than all the others) and pees everywhere, and he swipes at the dogs if they get too close. Theodore the cat is the only remotely normal one, but my mom has an entire iPhoto library labeled “Cats in things” thanks to him. Cake pans, boxes, recycling baskets… Prince Baby the cat looks like an alien and he hates everything. And he has a gimpy paw.
    Walloftextplz.

  15. Kitten is the world’s biggest fan of plastic bags. And paper bags. And boxes. He won’t avoid them. And FSM help you if you’re walking past when he’s found a box with kitty-arm-sized boobytrap holes.

  16. My old room mates cat had a love/addiction thing for green olives? if you gave her even a small piece of a green olive, you were entertained for hours with her craziness (like cat nip reactions) I had a male Siamese cat, that became a real problem because anyone he didn’t like (everyone) was fair game to him. he finally met his match with a badger! RIP Kao

  17. I don’t know whether this is a case of insanity or just sheer arrogance and laziness. When no-one is in the house our cat will happily go in and out as she pleases. As soon as one of us is in, if she wants to get outside she just will not use her catflap but will instead sit, beg and miaow until we push it open for her. I try and ignore her but always end up giving in.
    If it is raining outside she will go from room to room to check whether it will be sunny at any of the other exits. She kills no end of small outdoor animals but doesn’t notice when our rats are sat on or laps in the room. And walking round the house we may sometimes come across a plastic bag or closed box that purrs.

  18. I of course forgot the most obvious one about Gidget.

    We have a pull-down attic staircase. It makes a grinding noise whenever it’s opened up, and it scares the hell out of her. If you raise your hand to the drawstring in her presence, her eyes get as wide as saucer plates and she gets ready to bolt. It’s hilarious.

    Her brother was completely unfazed by it and usually would try to climbe the steps. She runs away as quickly as she can.

  19. I’ve got a big black Bouvier, they’re herding dogs. Since I have no sheep, anyone on a bicycle fits the bill. If I even touch a bike, she starts barking and whining and getting really anxious. I’ve never seen this dog crazier than when I’m riding around the driveway, herding and chasing me.

  20. Aside from Moe ^ , I have Cooper, my other cat. He’s 8 and a mama’s boy. He’s pretty normal other than he knows how to high five, fetch and the fact that we keep finding new things that likes to eat. So far: ice cream, banana cake, lasagna, sour cream, chicken, turkey, any fish, sometimes beef but never ribs, salsa, watermelon, vanilla frosting, peanut butter, chips and a small list of cheeses. He’s my lil’ Garfield.

  21. My cat lives upstairs in the summer time because it’s warmer up there. All evening he sits at the top of the stairs yelling for someone to come up there and visit him. Sometimes I can carry him downstairs and put him in a blanket, but he eventually gets up and yells until you follow him.
    Also, he will eat an entire basket of easter grass if given the chance.

  22. Our little 18 lb Boston Terrier has no social skillls. When we used to take her to the beach and let her off leash, she would perform an “atomic launch” on larger dogs. She would run full speed and launch herself head first into the side of unsuspecting large dogs, the bigger the better (Rottwielers, Standard Poodles, etc). She did not make many friends this way and neither did we.

    She also believes the vacuum cleaner is a manifestation of Satan himself, and it has bite marks all over from her efforts to protect us.

    Our big 110 lb lab eat Calvin Klein panties. Yes, only the Calvins.

  23. My dog Monk is terrified of tropical rain storms and hurricanes and he always knows when they are coming. Just try to get him from under my bed!

  24. My dog is a Jack Russell Terrier. As far as I can tell, he’s afraid of “holes”. When I used to walk him in the city, he froze when he saw subway grates, manholes, just about anything below ground level. It didn’t matter that the “hole” was far away, if he saw it, he didn’t want to go in that general direction.
    My dog lives in the suburbs now, so he’s not dealing with that stuff anymore. But I noticed that he refuses to set one foot in our sunken living room. The living room is just one step down (and he can go down stairs with no problem). If he needs something in the living room, he’ll jump on the chairs, sofas, end tables to get it, but NEVER touch the floor. It’s like he thinks the floor is lava.

  25. My girl would run live in any plastic bag and attack use it as a fort. Any box was her domain no matter the size, but run from the vacuum cleaner. She would insanely chatter her teeth at birds outside the window, stick her paw in my face to wake me if I wasn’t up early enough to suit her needs (she was a free feeder so it wasn’t for food, it was for company) and if I didn’t wake quick enough, she would gently stab me with one individual claw over and over and over and over until I got the fuk up and paid attention to her (all the while meowing really loudly because I’m hard of hearing). When I set the timer for cooking food, as soon as the timer went off, she would race me to the kitchen. As annoying as she could be at times, I miss her. She passed away about 2 years ago at a young age due to kidney failure. She was my puppy

  26. Skeeter has an adhesive addiction. Tape, stickers, band aids, anything with dried glue. He knows you have it even if it makes no noise. He tried to eat a band aid off my leg once. He often sits and stares at the cabinet with the tape in it. He also goes into crazy meow/seizure mode if anyone has Twizzlers. I have NEVER let him eat one but he know the sound of the bag and will injure himself to get to you as quickly as possible.
    I bought him a wet food chicken and livers once. When I came back he had eaten all of the livers and left the chicken. I discovered he doesn’t like turkey or tuna this same way, but he loves mashed potatoes and crackers, wheat thins are his fav.

    Also terrified of plastic bags and brooms, which may have had something to do with his previous owners. He is the best cat I’ve ever had.

  27. My dog Max owns a roadside motel and whenever he gets particularly taken with a guest he senses his feminine alter ego getting jealous. He assumes the role of that alter ego, puts on a wig and dress and murders the guest. It’s not like my dog is a maniac or a raving thing. He just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes.

  28. I used to have a rabbit who went absolutely bonkers when he smelled so much as a whif of chocolate. Carrots, on the other hand, he abhorred. Sadly, he died in all his toothless glory about a month and a half ago.

    We also have a crazy-ass budgee who regularly tries to impregnate hands. It’s worse than you think and a lot more disgusting.

  29. Neither of my cats is scared of anything, not even the vacuum cleaner. But I did have an older cat named Jasmine who was scared of strangers and would run and hide under the bed whenever someone rang the doorbell.

    Nilla thought this was the awesomist game ever and would run after her and get under the bed with her. Jasmine died in March, but Nilla still likes to play the doorbell game. When someone rings it, he’ll run as fast as he can to the back bedroom, but since Jasmine isn’t there, he’ll come right back out, like, “Hey! How are ya?”

  30. As far as I can tell, my cats aren’t especially terrified of anything (well, except for new places. I just moved with them and it was an interesting first few hours), but one of them has a few crazy/endearing traits.
    Maximum Cat sits outside the bedroom door in the morning. My husband, Rob, gets up before me, so Max will hang out with him, and then report back to the door for when I wake up. One time I got up before Rob, and Max forgot so a few hours later I heard him crying frantically at the bedroom door, trying desperately to waken me.
    Also, anytime Rob sneezes, Max comes barreling in from wherever he was in the house to make sure Rob is OK. He doesn’t do this for anyone else, just Rob.

  31. Our psychotic one-eyed cat sits in the sun outside our front door and a couple of time a day she will randomly dart out to the footpath ( at least 10 metres from the door) and attack random people walking past, she especially dislikes children and old people. When I go for a walk she will follow me to the end of the road and wait for me then walk back home with me. She’s getting old and falls of things a lot, she’ll sit on the balcony railing and start to doze and fall off. She’s not an affectionate cat and she will bite you if you attempt to pet her more than 3 times, the only person she doesn’t attack is my 5year old daughter (she gets a warning hiss and then the cat runs away). I do love the psycho though, she’s 14 now and we will definitely miss her when she’s gone

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