Herman Cain promises he wouldn’t sign any bill over three pages long

From the LA Times Blog:

Herman Cain has discovered a way to stand out from all the other Republicans running for president.

The former president and chief executive of Godfather’s Pizza wants to make an offer to Congress that it can’t refuse. Unfortunately, it may be an offer so idealistic that it could have Cain swimming with the proverbial fishes — politically speaking.

Cain wants to stop lawmakers from passing bills that are over three pages long. Talk about small government.

“Don’t try to pass a 2,700-page bill,” Cain said to a responsive audience in Pella, Iowa, on Monday.

“You and I didn’t have time to read it. We’re too busy trying to live — send our kids to school. That’s why I am only going to allow small bills — three pages. You’ll have time to read that one over the dinner table,” Cain said.

Herman Cain’s Plan For Securing The Border: Build The Great Wall Of China, Fill A Moat With Alligators

From Think Progress:

CAIN: I just got back from China. Ever heard of the Great Wall of China? It looks pretty sturdy. And that sucker is real high. I think we can build one if we want to! We have put a man on the moon, we can build a fence! Now, my fence might be part Great Wall and part electrical technology…It will be a twenty foot wall, barbed wire, electrified on the top, and on this side of the fence, I’ll have that moat that President Obama talked about. And I would put those alligators in that moat!

Crane Crushes House

(It happens about 2 minutes in)

From KSTP:

A Shoreview homeowner was having a giant hot tub placed in his backyard. They weren’t able to go around the house with it, so a company with a crane helped place it over the house. The crane toppled right on top of the roof over the garage.

The Ramsey County Sheriff’s Department says they were told a computer malfunction caused the crane to topple Friday. No one was hurt.

Top Ten Things Anthony Weiner has Said that are Worse than Sexting

Juan Cole:

The real scandal surrounding Anthony Weiner is that he is bigoted against Palestinians and has misused his position in Congress to support punitive policies against them. Americans appear to be bored by policy, titillated by private peccadilloes. But it is the policies that are important. Mahatma Gandhi was once kicked out of a brothel in South Africa. No one judges him by his lapses. Weiner, in contrast to Gandhi, has not worked for peace but has rather given knee-jerk support to the worst policies of the most far rightwing parties in Israel toward Palestinians. A social liberal in American terms, Weiner is so blinded by his allegiance to Israel and so studied in his ignorance of the Middle East that he has played a uniformly sinister role in that aspect of foreign policy. If he were replaced by, say, an up an up-and-coming Dominican-American politician from Queens who had some sympathy with Arabs, that would be all to the good.

(Thanks PVC)

Santorum: Doctors Providing Abortions To Rape And Incest Victims Should Be Criminally Charged

Reminding us again why he’s a frothy mix of lube and fecal matter:

QUESTION: Do you believe that there should be any legal exceptions for rape or incest when it comes to abortion?

SANTORUM: I believe that life begins at conception, and that that life should be guaranteed under the Constitution. That is a person.

QUESTION: So even in the case of rape or incest, that would be taking a life?

SANTORUM: That would be taking a life, and I believe that any doctor that performs an abortion, I would advocate that any doctor that performs an abortion, should be criminally charged for doing so.

‘Beefy Hands Slapping Camouflaged Backs’

Dennis Perrin:

The plane lands at Reagan National. The steward says to stay in our seats, it’s safe to use cells and so on. His voice rises a few octaves. “And to those military personnel aboard, we thank you for your sacrifice and patriotism.” Passengers erupt in applause and cheers.

Other than an in-flight drink, I rarely fly altered. The Homeland drones are bad enough; fast food employees with badges. Surly overfed passengers push it to another level. Granted, my aversion to the public has gotten worse. I increasingly view fellow Americans through Grosz/Steadman eyes. My problem, my madness. I admit it. Still, the notion of psychoactive engagement is too horrifying to consider. Empty chatter, expanding waistlines, addiction to flashing toys would be an intolerable visual swirl. Overpriced cocktails provide a safer filter.

Applauding the military while taxiing to the gate is a new spectacle. Beefy hands slapping camouflaged backs. Expressions of gratitude and support. Whether or not these guys have seen or will see action is beside the point. Their uniforms alone merit adulation. If we were under siege from invading armies laying waste to cities and suburbs, I could see it. Military/civilian distinctions would evaporate. We’d all be part of the resistance.

But the opposite is reality. We’re the invaders decimating occupied people. In deluded moments we pose as selfless liberators. When honesty emerges we boast of our destructive power — the Fuck Yeah! approach. Those passengers weren’t cheering necessary sacrifice. They were celebrating charred Afghan civilians. Deformed Iraqi children. Extrajudicial assassination. They probably give more thought to the TruGreen on their lawns than to depleted uranium in Fallujah’s soil and water.

(Thanks PVC)