1. Just once I would like it to stay nice through the weekend. How do you even dress for the rapture? (probably layers, as usual)

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  2. “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine”

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  3. If only all the hypocritical holier-than-thou self (loudly) proclaimed Christians actually would disappear! We might get back to real separation of Church and State, as well as putting the needs of the needy before those of the super wealthy.

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  4. So does this mean I’m going to ace the job interview on Friday?

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  5. Those departing this earth on Saturday may want to leave their pets in my care. Prepayment for eternity required. No refunds in case of non-Rapture.

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