Rapture Scheduled for May 21, 2011

From Salon:

Spring is finally here — but apparently, the apocalypse will be fast on its trail. That’s the word from a slight but outspoken group of spiritual devotees who believe that the world as we know it is coming to an end.

Maybe you’ve already encountered the literature: pamphlets, subway ads, billboards on the side of the highway. “Judgment Day is coming” reads one billboard, which features a man praying in silhouette against a sunset backdrop. These are the works of a peculiar breed of Christian activists who’ve taken to the road to preach their belief in the fast-approaching End of Days. The self-appointed harbingers are not tied to any particular church — they claim organized religion has been corrupted by the devil — but rather to Internet- and radio-based ministries. And their lone mission is to tell anyone and everyone that the end of days is May 21. That’s when, they insist, God’s true believers will be lifted into heaven and saved, during a biblical event widely referred to as the Rapture.

  • I know how THIS works….when the end DOESN’T come, they’ll say they “prayed” for it not to happen, and god listened; it’s a win-win for them!

    • Justin

      Yeah, isn’t that the same way ancient sorcerers gained control, by slightly understanding eclipses and then pretending to predict them?

  • Stephen

    I want to go to Portugal in June, don’t want the Rapture rearing it’s ugly head and messing with my plans. I don’t mind if it happens in July

    • outeast

      Why would it mess with your plans? I’m pretty sure that the rapture wouldn’t make much more of a dent in the population than, say, a minor flu epidemic.

      • Stephen

        Does the Rapture mean that only the special good ones will be magically lifted off to heaven, leaving the rest of us to go about our daily lives? I thought it is supposed to the end of all life on earth, in which case it would inhibit my chances of going to Portugal. Either scenario is BS, but if it were real (like if fairies and leprechauns were real), I’d take it personal if it happened before my trip, cos I’m not about to start praying to hedge my bets

  • Ryno68

    There should be a Christian themed Pro Wrestler named The Rapture. Before he comes out they could announce The Rapture is coming!

    • TDavis

      Geez, Ryno68, the possibilities are endless! I was able to think up a dozen slogans/ringside patters without even trying! I wonder how he would fare down in the Bible belt, though. Those folks take their Rasslin’
      pretty seriously. My guess is that he’d either get run out of town on a rail or be elected Governor.

  • P

    Members of my family waited for the rapture in three different situations. God, even Bush knew the “fool me once” motto.

    • Venture Free

      I don’t know about that. According to him the motto is “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

      Just rolls off the tongue, eh?

  • MarvinTPA

    I wonder if they are willing to have a bet with me ?

    • Stephen

      As if the poor fools have not been taken advantage of enough already. But yeah, it would be tempting

  • Check out the counter billboards in San Francisco

  • Sam

    We’re seeing the billboards all over San Francisco. However, I think “Buffy” summed it up best with “What’s the plural of apocalypse?”

  • Whatever

    You know, if all ‘believers’ go to ‘heaven’ and leave us here on Earth, it will be a much better place…

    • jen

      You’re right, because that would mean all the Republicans would be gone 🙂

      • So we get their shit, then, right?

  • pvc

    Boston transit authority removes Judgement Day ads from buses in response to complaints.

    That is IMHO stupid. Leave the damn things up, take the fundies’ money and be prepared to LYAO on 5/22.

  • Brian

    I’m waiting for the 2012 apocalypse… the Mayans are so much cooler. I wonder why they couldn’t predict their own demise?

    • Barbwire

      There are lots of Mayas still around, in Mexico, Belize, Honduras, Guatemals, and some in El Salvador. It was their cities that collapsed, possibly because of drought, possibly because they lost faith in their kings.

    • Stephen

      @ Brian,

      They couldn’t “predict” anything, they had a calender , different to ours, but still a good one that suited them. They didn’t have magic powers to see the future. They were a technically gifted people. They did do a lot of cool things with their know how

  • shawn1200

    Did anyone see a picture of the controversial billboard that was recently put up near Family Radio’s headquarters that directly challenges them about May 21?
    See it on:

  • Justin

    Always reminds of the great Post-Rapture Post:

    http://postrapturepost.com/index.html

  • Danno

    I should be pissed because I’ve been doing a lot of marketing and publicity for an event happening on May 22. But, if there’s a deal with “you know Who” that gets rid of all these rapture people… once and for all? Better event.

  • tak

    is this not possibly some kind of annoying viral marketing nonsense? a lot of games set for release around that date.. just wondering..

    • outeast

      Right or wrong, that’s the kind of cynical nonsense we don’t like around here. Oh, wait…

  • Dang it. There goes my summer plans.

  • alan smithee

    Hey, Does anyone know what time that this is going to happen? At 12:00:01 am or sometime later in the day?

    I need to know if I should plan for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

    And, if it’s going to happen around Noon (EDT) that means I can sleep in and still not miss it.

    Also, is this going to happen simultaneously across all time zones, or is it going roll though all time zones one at a time like the YTK disaster did?

    One more thing… How long do you think that this will take to happen? I mean, when it starts will I have time to run out and do some errands? Or drink my good bottle of Scotch that I’m saving for a special occasion?

    I just I’d better plan on the whole “blink of an eye” thing, right? And get my last end-of-the-world “to dos” done on 5/20.

    OK, I guess there still is one more thing — I’ve seen some T-shirts that say, “Jesus is coming and boy, is he pissed!” Do you think he really will be? Should I bring flowers to calm him down? Maybe chocolates?

  • See, what’s really going to happen is the Second Coming… of Great Cthulhu. So it’s really not a “rapture” so much as an “all-you-can-eat buffet.”