The Arizona Senate formally passed the “Birther Bill” today, but not in its original version.
Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona — despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president — was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can’t find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice.
A circumcision certificate — a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony — is not a legal document (see an example of one here) but if you have one, under the amended bill, it’s apparently enough to prove you’re a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.
Headline of the Day
Apr 14, ’11
7:04 PM
Comments
4 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.Dear Abby,
I’m a woman. I want to get on the Arizona ballot, God knows why. Do I have to provide a certificate stating that I have, in fact, had my first period? If so, how should I make it? They don’t exactly hand ‘em out, you know.
Bleeding in Arizona
Dear Bleeding,
I think a simple Powerpoint slide should suffice. Just make the font all curly and illegible, and you should be good.
Abby
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I’m honestly beginning to wonder if everything the GOP/Tea Partiers have been doing is some sort of elaborate prank.
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Maybe Ashton Kutcher moved up from pranks like faking the tax seizure of Justin Timberlake’s house. Punk’d ended in 2007, and he must have a lot of time on his hands…
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This is beyond satirizable.
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