GOP Lawmaker Claims God Will Provide Natural Resources Forever and Ever

Oh flying fucking spaghetti monster who art delicious:

Mike Beard, a Republican state representative from Minnesota, recently argued that coal mining should resume in the Land of 10,000 Lakes, in part because he believes God has created an earth that will provide unlimited natural resources.

“God is not capricious. He’s given us a creation that is dynamically stable,” Beard told MinnPost. “We are not going to run out of anything.”

Beard is currently in the midst of drafting legislation that would overturn Minnesota’s moratorium on coal-fired power plants, an effort that he backs due to his religious belief that God will provide limitless resources while ensuring that humans don’t destroy the planet trying to get them.

Quick, here’s a link to get your mind off of teh stupid you just read.

(via Poor Mojo)


  1. The emergency kittens were much appreciated, Chris.

    I guess in Mike Beard’s world natural disasters and shortages are things that only happens to the heathens. You’d think he’d know better, living in the middle of Tornado Alley.

  2. Tell that to the Caspian Tiger, the Dodo bird, and all the other animals that were hunted to extinction by humans. I’d mention the dinosaurs too, but he’d just say they never existed.

  3. Wasn’t that about the same attitude as Reagan’s Interior Secretary Jim Watt, and the “Wise Use” loons of the day? As I recall, they were pretty well laughed out of the room THEN…

  4. The only thing more finite than our resources is Beard’s intelligence. Between this and the fiasco in WI, those kittens were needed! Thanks!

  5. Thank you for the kittens! I used to teach in the Inner City–South Central LA and Compton. People talk about disadvantaged kids, low test scores, etc. I never had one kid anywhere near as stupid as your average Christian conservative Republican.

    1. I told a Christian friend about this. She said that when we run out of things (or animals go extinct) it’s God’s will. If we run out of coal then it will be because God wanted us to. “God’s will” is always the ace up the sleeve answer.

      1. God exists so that nothing happens by accident. Nothing happens by accident, so God exists.

        The intellectual equivalent of

        10 goto 20
        20 goto 10

  6. Shit, if it wasn’t for teh kittehs my head woulda popped off and rolled into that guys’ spaghetti so I could eat his face off. Thankfully, the cuteness saved the day!

  7. God is not capricious.

    Ok? If you don’t know “god’s plan,” then assume by all means that it only appears “capricious,” and that you can’t just assume we won’t run out of coal.

    I mean, all it takes is for some dumb fuck in power to declare god is not capricious, and people will be soothed about things not running out when they will. I don’t know a lot of biblical stuff, but … famines? If you choose to believe god isn’t capricious, and you don’t know what the plan is, you’re stupid if you think that all put together means you’ll have an unlimited supply of coal. If you are spouting off words like “dynamically stable,” do you know what you’re going to do when you run out of coal? I mean, to me, that sounds like, if you draw logical conclusions, that you know you will run out of coal and have other options to keep you running after that. If you don’t draw logical conclusions, you are going to be fucked when you run out of coal.

  8. Michelle Bachman. Mike Beard. What’s in the water there in Minnesota, that you guys keep electing mush-for-brains politicians? Maybe you should move the state south of the Mason-Dixon line, so you fit in better…

    1. One district in Minnesota elects a crazy tea party banshee woman, and you insult everyone in the state. That’s called “un-called for.”

      You know we have two democratic senators, including Al Franken. We had Jesse Ventura as our governor. Etc.

      We have a lot of different kinds of people in Minnesota, so try not to generalize based on the most hysterical and media-visible element.

  9. Let’s just consider two things.

    Dynamically stable – this means the world as created will change while remaining the same? We should think that there is a balance we see now, where the structure of the world is concerned now, but no matter the amount or frequency or amount-over-time (sorry for the loss of word there) goes on the world will remain in a stasis.

    This completely sidesteps the inane statement that according to Mike, God would never let us excersice our free will in such a way that would cause irreparable harm to the planet – an impossibility if the planet is “dynamically stable.”

    That there are infinite resources – do we really need to examine the statement for any amount of time? This is the same as saying there is a box of definite size which contains an infinite amount of chocolates.

    When will we elect good representatives? When will more logicians leave the safety of academia and talk to Americans like we are real people with active intellects?

    1. Btw, I’m from Alabama. Sometimes God gifts one of us with only a slightly substandard IQ. I think it’s a cruel joke, and God just loves trolling Red states :3

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