1. This is going to sound stupid and I will lose andy credibility I may have had:

    My grandmother is Polish. Not only that, but mental. She practices Reiki and similar bullshit, so when she suggested that I eat a whole raw red onion one night before bed when I was about fourteen I treated it with my usual skepticism. Turns out there may have been something in it, because it cleared up by the next day, and even if it hadn’t the brutality of eating the onion had cleared my sinuses out better than anything else I’ve touched.

    Works reasonably consistently, and isn’t as unpleasant as it sounds I guess. Except for other people.

  2. A good hot yellow curry does wonders for me to get rid of a minor cold. I think it scares my body that something worse might happen if it doesnt get its act together.

  3. Buy a bottle of nyquil. It has cold remedies in it, but mostly it is “Take a hit of ‘quil; sleep for 4 hours; wake up; drink some water; go to the bathroom; repeat;” for 36-48 hours.

    Mostly I just anesthetize myself until the cold/flu is gone.

  4. A shot of Nyquil followed by a chaser shot of whiskey.

    Oh, I’m sorry. I misread your post. I thought you were asking what will give you the craziest tripped out dreams that will make you wake up in a bed of sweat.

    I did feel a lot better the next day, though. YMMV

  5. Mucinex cures everything. O.k. not really, but I am obsessed with it. Meth candy as you have already purchased usually works. CRABS suggestion of the onion is rather intriguing though.

  6. I have Mr. Piri a sinus infection for Christmas. He was thrilled.
    I like to use advil cold and sinus (contains mini-meth) during the day and nyquil at night. Nothing’s worse than feeling miserable AND being unable to sleep.

    Crabs, there is some old wive’s tale running around the internet these days that onions are such magnets for bacteria and viruses that you should never save a cut one for later use and putting a sliced onion in a room with a sick person will rid them of the flu. My grandmother sent it to me last year and I politely pointed her to snopes.

  7. nothing’s ever really helped. I used to go hardcore on Advil CS in the first hint of a cold but when I’d just let it run it would last a week anyway. So I basically stopped treating myself and made sure to keep the fluids and eat a vegetable-y diet.

    1. This is exactly what I do as well. Cold meds just don’t seem to work for me anymore 🙁
      Good news is, my cold will be over soon (1 more day to go!!)

    2. ? Cold medicines aren’t supposed to decrease your recovery time, they’re supposed to treat your symptoms. I take Advil C&S when I’m sick because it improves my condition and makes me more pleasant to be around while my cold runs it’s course.

  8. alka seltzer plus. it works. – my mom’s remedy
    add her remedy to mine: hot sour soup (i only drink the broth, too many unidentifiables in the soup). these do work for me. plus a butt load of water. and sleep.

    good luck!

  9. Alcohol. Best in the form of a hot toddy made with apple cider, lemon, cinnamon stick and Drambuie. If that doesn’t work add a few glasses of a good port. It may not fix your cold, but you’ll feel better. And the rest you get may help fix the cold.

    Do not take the meth precursor before bed. It gives me crazy dreams.

    1. LL nails it. Whisky here. Diluted with lots of water ’cause you need plenty of fluids to flush the antigen/viral debris out of your system.

      When I feel one coming on, if I can I’ll pile on as many blankets as I can to drive up the fever and try to sweat it out. It causes fever dreams (which can be groovy) but can sometimes abort or at least reduce the intensity and length of the bug.

  10. Put a huge spoonful of Vicks Vaporub in a mug of boiling water and breathe in the fumes. Be careful though. The first time my brother tried it, the powerful vapor nearly knocked him out. It really helps clear congestion better than just applying the stuff.

    Also, super spicy ramen soup always helps me feel better. 🙂

  11. Netipot all the way! Its weird and gross but amazing. Just don’t let anybody watch you do it. They will never look at you the same again.

    1. I’ve never been able to take the netipot seriously after watching “Drew” from toothpastefordinner use bourbon in one instead of the neti-package. Hilarity did ensue.

  12. Chicken Noodle Soup. It really works; even the Campbell’s kind. That said, TheraFlu and Alka Seltzer Plus are also good. I know there’s a lot of fans for it, but Nyquil keeps me awake all night. I’d be better off taking nothing.

  13. What sid said.
    I’m lucky enough to rarely get colds. When I do succumb they don’t bother me very much. My immune system makes short work of ’em.

  14. im on “team immune system” too, I drink lots of water, take tylenol, and drink lots of orange juice. drinking hot water, lemon and honey and sucking on sugarfree ricola cough drops helps sore throats, and i cant live without puffs plus tissues with lotion.

  15. My favorite remedy: a day or two on the couch with soup and a pile of DVDs that don’t require a lot of brain power to keep up with.

    And – I am SO stocking up on American otc drugs when I get to NY. All we get is the pansy stuff. Tylenol is pushing it, really. Any recommendations?

  16. I have a cold this week too. Lots of cranberry juice on the rocks, and a hot toddy at night. Some tylenol here and there, nice hot steamy showers and lots of sleep.

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